Resolution for Me

Each New Year we are refreshed with the opportunity to make a new start. Often we make resolutions. Often, we bring a certain expectation to the New Year, expectations about our own goals, and those of others. It is good to examine those expectations for a couple things: are they fair and are they realistic.

Often the disappointment we experience in our lives comes from our own expectations. We fail to look at the norm, at the conduct we or another person consistently demonstrates. We want more, and we want better. Often these desires have more to do with our own conduct and expectations and less to do with another. Such attitudes cannot but set us up for disappointment.

I wonder how many of our disappointments could be averted if we kept this in mind. I've often been reminded of my own "unrealistic expectations" of another, and have struggled to remember the person's usual conduct, and not to expect differently. This fact is not depressing; it is part of what it means to accept reality for what it is.

I think part of our unrealistic expectations come because we don't like living in an imperfect world. In a perfect world, yes, all would be thoughtful, sensitive, generous and kind. In a perfect world, no one would insult, slander, or offend. In a perfect world, I would not have to deal with my selfishness, my ego, my needs. But in reality, all these things that I struggle with affect me, affect other, cloud my vision and affect my altruism. I struggle even when I think I'm being my best. So do others.

As this year ends, and a new one begins shortly, I dedicate myself to healthy living, to dreaming big, and to accepting the reality of life. I accept my family and friends for who they are, not who I want them to be. I lay down my own vision of what others should be, and replace it with a vision of what I want to accomplish. I determine that what I am says best how I believe.

This is my New Year's resolution. I could do worse.

Peaceful Silence

I love this quote from Wisdom 18: 14-15, used for today's liturgy: When peaceful silence lay over all, and night had run half of her swift course, your all-powerful word, O Lord, leaped down from heaven, from the royal throne.

Peaceful silence. We all practice silence at times, as a way to recharge, but also as a way to punish. We practice silence when we are in turmoil, or insulted, or simply too depressed to talk. But that is a mournful silence, an angry silence, a selfish silence.

Peaceful silence. It seems a prerequisite for the Word leaping down. It implies tranquility. It speaks to my ability to balance my life so that what happens to me and my choice of response do not collide in conflict, but are resolved to the best possible solution. Not an easy action.

Peaceful silence. I'm reminded of the stillness of night, of falling snow, of a glowing sunset. All have potential to be beautiful, if we appreciate them.

This is what this phrase brings to my mind. What does it bring to yours?

Awakening

As the new year approaches, many of us will search for a resolution to mark this step. For the spiritually minded, this resolution will not be about dropping a few pounds or beginning some new regime of exercise as much as it will be about finding ways to be more centered, more aware, more conscious.We can do this by becoming more awake in our meditation.

Meditation has taken on greater value in the past decade, and with good cause. Science has proven its value in emotional and physical health. But it is also the door through which we can descend into the depths of secrets, those reserved for serious seekers.

And what is revealed to those becoming more awake? Only each individual heart will know. For each heart is unique, and each soul has its own journey to make. Awakening through meditation means knowing my heart better, understanding my journey more clearly.

As we approach the beginning of another year, my hope is that I can take the time for deeper and more profound meditation. For as much as it benefits me, it also benefits the whole world around me. For each person who becomes more awake brings greater hope for our world.

And can't our world use that?

Peace of Christ

We often hear Jesus referred to as the Prince of Peace. And I think, in general, we like to think of Jesus as the one who brings peace to our world. Images of the lion lying down with the lamb, or the sword being thrust into the plowshare come to mind. But when we come to to the nitty-gritty of daily grind, and see the chaos around us, we can't help but wonder, what is peace?

If it is an absence of conflict, few of us can ever hope to have it for any length of time. For life is full of reverses, unexpected events, and challenges. We only need to read the daily papers. Wars, conflicts, abuse, pain, poverty, disloyalty and dishonesty certainly abound in our world. So, where is this prince of peace? Can it be that the peace of Christ is so easily vanquished by evil?

No. That is the world's peace. That is what we are led to expect when we have little faith, when we do not get what we want, when we shake our fist and cry out, where is God in all of this! That is our problem, we want peace to be an absence of trouble.

The Peace of Christ is not so shallow, so superficial, so fragile. It resides deeper inside of us, giving us strength and perspective to deal with these vicissitudes of life. The true peace Christ gives is strong, stronger than conflict, stronger than troubles, stronger than even death.


And once you realize that, you become that very image of peace. For you know. And in that knowing, you are centered, are sure, are secure.

Peace to all of you.

Merry Christmas!

Ever stop to analyze why Christmas is such a special season? No matter what your belief, there is a spirit in the air, a lightness in people's heart, and excitement beyond Santa Claus and children. If only we took the time to contemplate what spawns such a spirit, maybe we could extend it a little longer, a few more weeks, a few months, even throughout the year. I suspect a great deal of the joy created at this time comes from sense of oneness with one another through our ties.

Perhaps that spirit, one of ties and family, come because during the season of Christmas we are more willing to let go, in order to celebrate. But if we let go more often, could we not celebrate more often as well?

It's a thought worth pondering. It's a reminder that we have more control over our happiness than we like to admit. That the power we take for our lives results in greater living. And greater living starts with greater giving, not of the material, but of the emotional. And that giving means a willingness to risk, to dare, to do.

What does Christmas say to you?

Light Shines in Darkness

Light shines brightest when there is darkness all around. Let the light of your faith shine forth this Christmas Season, that all may know the reason for your joy and your celebration. For you never know the soul who sits in darkness, and needs the light. You may be the one sent to comfort that soul.

Envision the Change - And You Will Do It

Each year we treat Christmas as though it brought something new into our lives. A great deal of this has to do with gift giving, of course. But it is good to reflect on the reason for our feelings at this time of year, and on the whole concept of  having something new.

For the dedicated Christian, Christmas is a time to renew commitment to Christ. We are reminded of all that he gave up just so he could become one of us, a step down for him to be sure. It's also a time to take stock of our own life, of our own transformation, and what it might mean in concrete terms for me.

A friend of mine has been on a rather interesting journey of late, one that doesn't let her settle too long. This shift is rather dramatic because she spent over 20 years in one place and in one profession. But for the last ten years she has been on the move. Recently, she left her job, sold her home, and moved again. After a year, she found a Graduate course that spoke to her heart, decided to go on to Grad school, started looking for a new job and a new place to live. In the midst of all of this, she admitted she couldn't help but wonder about herself and her journey. Shouldn't one seek to be settled, secure, and rooted after a time? Why did her journey never seem to end, and what was "wrong" with her life that she couldn't seem to find peace in what she has done, but felt drawn to continue the search?

Just about this time she received a Christmas card from a former co-worker. In part, it read: It is so important to be true to yourself, and you have done this all along. I admire your courage & strength. Believe that you can have peace of mind & freedom to live the life you want. Believe that you will not only survive but you will thrive. I am excited for you. I can see the sparkle in your eyes & your beautiful smile. Your loving spirit stays in this place. You have touched many lives & you will continue to do so. Your path is as special as you are.

Such affirmation did a lot for my friend. It reminded her that even while she was questioning her own journey,  she was touching hearts and souls and spirits.

And so, what change do you envision this Christmas? And what are you willing to do to accomplish it?

 

Lunar Eclipse

Since I spent a good deal of the night watching the eclipse, I'm content to post my unprofessional photos of the event here. Hope you enjoy!

Chocolate Anyone?

The eclipse. We shall see one tonight. It's exciting because it happens only rarely, and only certain areas of the world are able to view it at one time. The eclipse of the moon will take place around 2:30 EST. Anyone watching? My sister is serving hot chocolate to all those coming over to her house to watch.

I like to think of the eclipse as another example of our own journey in life. For some time tonight, the earth will block the light that reflects off the moon, and it will be in total darkness. The moon will not change. The sun will not change. The difference in the moon is not brought about by some terrible sin or failure. It is the normal sequence of a natural flow of planets.

We should remind ourselves of such when our own lives seem to be going through some type of "eclipse". It is normal, it is part of our cycle of life, and it will pass.

Chocolate anyone?

The True Mysterium Fidei

The mystery of faith. It encompasses all we do, for we all have a faith system, whether we are aware of it or not. That faith system directs our actions, influences our decisions, and colors everything we see. For the spiritual person, it also helps us discern what God is trying to say to us in this life.

The old testament often represents God speaking to an individual through a dream. Perhaps this is to demonstrate how discernment of God's plans carries with it a shadow of uncertainty. Here on earth, we will always see through a veil. And this is the fact of life. For those who want to be sure, well, they will have a long wait, or they will live in delusion. And I consider that kind of life rather static.

I wonder what Joseph thought after he brought Mary to Bethlehem for the census, ended up staying in a stable, and then was told to flee for his life. Not exactly the kind of unfolding I'd expect when I seek out my destiny in life. Which brings up another question. Do we think that finding our destiny means finding clear sailing?

Destiny, fate, providence. All such aspects of our life of faith take the inner eye of reflection. And if we believe in the presence within, we will not need the certainty without.

Silent Wonder of Presence

Ever notice how quiet things are when snow is falling? If you live in an area that gets snow regularly, you even "sense" snow by the special silence that accompanies the snowfall. Unlike rain, there is no pitter-patter. There is only silence, a wondrous, soul-filling, deep silence as it tumbles down from the sky.  As a kid, I used to love to look up as snow fell, watching the sky full of flakes crash together soundlessly as they whirled and floated through the air, down upon my face, settling and then melting.

God is sorta like snow. He comes in quiet and stillness. I think our major task in getting to really know God is learning how to be quiet and still. Be still and know that I am God says psalm 40:10. The second is dependant upon the first.

Richard Rohr makes this distinction absolutely necessary for the mystic gaze. It happens whenever, by some wondrous "coincidence," our heart space, our mind space, and our body awareness are all simultaneously open and nonresistant...It is experienced as a moment of deep inner connection, and it always pulls you, intensely satisfied, into the naked and undefended now, which can involve both profound joy and profound sadness. (Naked Now p 28)

As Christmas approaches, silence is a good way to appreciate the mystery. Jesus came in the month of December. Who can even say, that as he was brought forth, snow fell quietly from the sky, filling the world with the silent wonder that something new, something fresh was happening to the earth.

 

The Fear To Thirst

I love this quote from Lautréamont: According to what I am told, I am the son of man and woman; This astonishes me...I thought I was more.

We all want more than mere birthright. We all long for something we think of as more. But as much as we long, so true too is the fact that this longing is unsettling, disturbing, difficult. Often we don't know how to fill the void inside, or simple, that void, that unsettling feeling, that thirst hurts too much. And so, as Bernard Bro says, as much as we long, we also fear. This is the tragic aspect of the grandeur of the mind. Each of us succeeds perfectly, if she so wishes, in suffocating the questions that disturb her, in anesthetizing them...we have a thirst for happiness, but we are afraid of being thirsty.

Timothy 2:12 says, Let our lives be honest and holy in this persent age, as we wait for the happiness to come...

This is what Advent means. This is true preparation.

Contemplative Seeing

We are in a time period of short days becoming shorter, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. Our weather is colder, our nights longer. It is nature providing us with proof of the usefulness of darkness and dormancy, and its power to prepare life even while all seems asleep.


To learn the truth of St. Teresa words: One knows God in oneself, and knows oneself in God often requires us to journey through darkness, a darkness that ultimately reveals. Perhaps we need darkness in our spiritual lives because we cannot bear the whole truth about ourselves in full light.  Perhaps in darkness we learn to look with different eyes, one that looks in rather than out. Perhaps darkness makes us stop to think, instead of rushing headlong into life.

Whatever the reason, we know that darkness is part and parcel of a spiritual life. We know that learning in darkness often illuminates our own sense of ourselves, so that we realize that helplessness, imperfection and our true unflattering selves are not a hindrance to loving God; only their denial is. And in that truth, we find we can leave the world of appearance and walk in the corridor of the inner sanctum. And there, darkness will be greater than light; we will accept our naked self; and powerlessness will not frighten us because we will know God, and in his Light we will see Light itself.

Has Your "I" Seen?

Advent is a time of preparation, of celebration, of recognition. The whole world is caught up in the Christmas mystery, knowingly or unknowlingly. But do we know what constitutes the Christmas mystery? Is it just about the birth of the redeemer? Or is there more to this mystery than a baby in Bethlehem?

In Genesis28:16 we read God, you were here all along, and I did not know it. I believe this is the true Christmas mystery and message Jesus brought. It is as though he says, Hey you! Wake up. God has been here all along, but you have not known it, not recognized it. You look to the heavens for God, and he is already here, right in your midst, right in your soul.  Jesus came along and showed us these things, God is close to us, closer than we could have ever guessed or dreamed.

In Job 42:5 we read I had heard of you by word of mouth, but now my eye has seen you. Has your I seen?

Faith Without the Tether

I am often amused at the amount of contradiction one can find in the gospels. Many come from Jesus own mouth. We are to love our enemies, yet if we don't hate our father and mother we cannot be his disciples. On and on the contradictions go. And why not? Is not life itself contradictory? And if that is so, will not true faith experience doubt, questioning, confusion and light?

I think sometimes we seek a religion that is clean and straightforward, some sort of ship that we can tie our little boat to to drag us along in the sea of life. But that kind of following brings no faith. It is a mere copy act. It can't be faith, because it has no potential for growth.

Faith is something organic, something that grows even as it questions; can find light even while in doubt; can make one strong even while one wrestles with its obscurity. Faith knows there is no danger in being afraid of the dark, only in a willingness to stay there. Faith lives by facing its daily needs. It doesn't need a checklist to see if it is alive.

So when you read the gospels, notice the contradictions and ask yourself what it all means. Questioning helps your faith grow. The stronger your faith, the less you will depend on a human institute. And eventually, you will untie your boat. Because you will know that in the sea of life, Jesus is only an arm length away.

Stripping Evil from Pain

Suffering has always been a mystery to our race, with many devising various ways to explain it away, or make it seem good, as if any suffering is good. We often liken suffering to the color black, or night, or darkness, our effort to call it evil. But instead of understanding the why of our pain, we would gain considerable more grace if we put our efforts into believing God's power to bring good out of it.

Jesus showed us how to conquer not only pain, but death itself. By believing in God's power to bring good from anything we suffer, we can actually strip pain of its evil, of its darkness, of its night. Then we can say with Paul, "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" (1 Corinthians 15:54-55). What power!

How we accept our vicissitudes in life have a lot to do with how we build our character. We must take stock of this truth. We must awaken our soul to its magnificence. We must not grow weary when the way becomes steep or difficult. For wondrous things happen to those who wait on the Lord with faith, believing not only that all things are possible, but that God can bring good out of all, regardless of its color.

Hearing the Soft Whisper

Reading psalm 36, I came across the verse: For with you is the fountain of life, and in your light we see light. Then I stumbled across this verse in Ephesians 5:14 for everything exposed to the light becomes light itself. Certainly, this is no secret, that we find light in the Godhead. But I think it is saying more.

I think it is asking us to check out our sources. For instance, how often do we seek light in some guru, or a written work, or perhaps even within ourselves. Not that this is wrong. We need help along the way, all the help we can get. But lets not forget, we have the Godhead right inside our soul, and that divinity is ready to help us along far more than any friend, book or guru. We must awaken our sense to this presence, so that we recognize the light, the inspirations, the soft whisper of God in our soul

Obviously, this takes time. But it won't happen if you don't begin here, return here often, and in time, seek this source of light before and above all others. The words of Jesus The truth will set you free can only come after we have recognized and lived by the light. And no one knows what God wants to whisper in the ear of our soul. For that whisper is saved for you alone.

Time to Nuture the Seed

Multitasking is considered a great trait in our society. We love to spread ourselves broad and give ourselves to many things all at once. Though such a concept seems inviting, it really depletes us as persons. Because the only way you can give yourself to so many tasks at the same time is to skim over all of them with a watchful eye. Which, in effect, means you cannot really give yourself to any. You must always be on the run. And while it works well when production is the only thing at stake, such a trait destroys production in our spiritual lives.

The spiritual life needs just the opposite; it needs your whole hearted attention if you hope to acquire contemplation. Concentration isn't the key here; but watchfulness is. A person used to the busyness of multitasking will find watching and waiting almost impossible. The gears of production propel when the seed of prayer needs time to grow.

Advent is all about watching and waiting. It is about planting seeds and nurturing fragile hopes and dreams. It is about awareness and consciousness and desires. It needs us to sit with our thoughts so that we understand better not only who we are, but the great who that is within.

Finding the Beyond

For the last two days, this hymn keeps replaying over and over in my mind. I heard it a couple weeks ago at a funeral. Yet it wasn't until Monday evening that it began to replay in my mind, over and over again, until I wondered what was going on! Then I heard Tuesday  readings of the Good Shepherd, and realized my soul is totally in sync with the liturgy!

The hymn starts Shepherd me O God, beyond my wants, beyond my needs, from death into life. We are all familiar with psalm 22, The Lord is my Shepherd, there is nothing I should want. The hymn goes one step further. It prays we go beyond our wants and needs, seeing the Shepherd as the true life. I like this interpretation because it admits we have needs and that they do need attending to, that they are valid. To deny human needs is to portray Christianity as some form of asceticism that denies the true human condition. And God knows, that is disastrous.

Faith and trust in God does not negate; it fulfills. That is a truth we need to hold on to. Perhaps the centuries of monastics have made one believe that to truly love and serve God requires a radical separation from all that is normal, from all that is human, from all that can be desired in this life. But nothing could be further from the truth.

We are all called to a life that is lived with spiritual awareness and mature understanding of human needs. And to prove it, the psalmist wrote Even when I walk through a dark valley, I fear no evil for you are at my side. A spiritual life isn't about going without, it is about going beyond to that which is at our side.

Stopping to Discover the Lesson

Life is a mystery. I've heard that said often enough. I think all seriously minded spiritual persons earnestly desire to be lead by the spirit, to travel on the path marked out for them. But there are times when the way becomes blurred, somewhat murky, and difficult to discern.  What are we to do then?

Perhaps those are times we are meant to camp out and settle for a time. Maybe all the forward movement needs to halt and time should be spent discerning meaning. Maybe when all attempts to go forward are frustrated, maybe that is the time to rest. Because there are times when we need to stop and look so that we can see the issues more clearly,  see the lesson we are to learn, or perhaps, these are times we can simple increase our trust that it will all work out. Because life isn't just a journey, it's leaden with meaning and purpose. Our time isn't just to pass, but to do good, some specific good, something God has ordained from all eternity.

Such are my thoughts for today. Do you have any thoughts to add to this subject?

Into the Silence

I keep wanting to come back to the thought of silence. I think it is often misunderstood to be emptiness or a stagnant void. That is not silence; that is death.

Silence is an interior act, an active slowing down and unwinding. To acheive a fruitful silence of soul takes time and practice. Think of it as an awareness ever deepening, a slow decompression of stress, a period when the mind can come to rest and the heart is free to ponder and reflect.

In silence great thoughts are born, darkness is pierced, the soul revealed, the struggles sorted. Once you have experienced this saving power of silence, you will not want one day to pass without setting aside a quiet time to enjoy it.

Becoming the Goodness of God

Advent is about preparation and anticipation. Have you ever looked for something in vain, and then found it was right before you, perhaps on your very person (such as your glasses!). Advent's preparation and anticipation is all about our search for God. Often we search for him and fail to find him only because we have not realized his presence right there in our own souls.

Thomas Merton writes To find the Word in our heart we must enter into ourselves not so much by introspection as by compunction. This is important. The inward movement of compunction is not so much a matter of hiding ourselves within ourselves,as a liberation of ourselves, which takes place in the depths of our being, and lets us out of ourselves from the inside.

I would say that compunction cannot be realized without a certain introspection and self-reflection. Souls that possess these traits have amazing abilities to read beyond the face value of an incident or a situation. They do so because they pierce the darkness of a superficial world by their practice of silence. And in that silence, recognizing the spirit of God, they begin to mirror the goodness of God within their own soul.

Opening the Spirit

“While all things were in quiet silence, and the night was in the midst of her course, Thy Almighty Word leapt down from heaven from Thy royal throne.” (Wis. 18 :14-15)

Monasteries are places of silence. The stillness draws the individual to unwind and slow down, to decompress the hurried pace, to learn what it means "to be". Silence draws the Almighty down into the consciousness. But more. Silence lets us realize and know that the Almighty already dwells within.

All spiritual persons treasure silence because they know the value of slowing down, of letting go, of unwinding, unburdening, and letting oneself just "be". Silence is more to our nature than we think. And often, we find refuge in nature because of the silence it offers.

This Advent, make space for silence by carving out a time and a place to be still. Use props if you must. Jump start your thoughts with scripture if that helps. But do make the time for a period of deep silence. You will be amazed at what it will do to your life, and how the world of the spirit will open up to you.

A Vision that Pierces Darkness

Forgiveness. It's the christian attitude that stumps most, even those who call themselves christian. It isn't a condescending pardon. It isn't a passive acceptance. It deals with more than letting go, though that too is necessary. Forgiveness is a type of vision, a realization, an acknowledgment of our human condition. Forgiveness comes only when I realize that I am not all that different from the one I must forgive.

We understand the true attitude of forgiveness from one of the most common of prayers, the Our Father. Forgive us we pray as we forgive those who sin against us. Forgiveness is not just ours to give, but ours to receive. As such, it is an acknowledgment that just as this one has done something offensive against me, so I too, willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly, have done to others. Forgiveness portrays our vision of this earthly condition we all share. After all, we are all capable of misrepresenting truth, of selfishness, egoism, and worst of all, arrogance. To stand in judgment of someone who is in denial of these things is to stand in denial ourselves. For unforgiveness is darkness.

If you seek to prepare your heart this Advent season, find a way to empty it of revenges and resentment. For forgiveness isn't about the person who has offended. It is about my ability to pierce the darkness around me and see life for what it really is, to see my place in the scheme of things, to know that, but for some quirk of nature, I could easily be the very one I need to forgive.

Dreaming Big

A friend of mine told me once a story about her childhood. She asked her Grandma if she could go to the movies, and Granny said yes, if you clean the house first. So she quickly cleaned, and then  presented herself to her Granny and said, "The house is clean. Can I have the movie fare please?" "You didn't ask for fare. You only asked to go. Next time, ask for what  you really want." She didn't get the fare, and so she couldn't go.

Even though this story seems a bit cruel, it does remind me of the necessity to know our need. Jesus himself said God knows our need even before we ask him. So why must we tell him? To make it clear to ourselves.

I've often wondered if my heaven is what I expect it to be, no more, no less. Jesus said, in my Father's house there are many mansions. What if those mansions are designed according to our heart's desire? What if, because we expected little, we get just that? What if our heaven is less because we desired less? Jesus clearly states that heaven is not the same for all. What makes the difference if not our desires?

I was told once, "Dream big, because no matter how big your dream, MHC has even bigger dreams for you." I listened, and believed, and wonderful things happened to me while I was at MHC simple because I applied to every award and Fellowship and program, and got them all. It wasn't me; it my  belief that it could happen.

We must think in terms bigger than  ourselves. We must always be increasing our desires. We must believe because we know God is good, and wants our good. We must know that no matter how big our dreams, God has even bigger dreams for us.

Manufesting the Spirit

I think that we cannot find the truth until we take life, faith, and commitment deeply serious. Because it is only when we are earnestly seeking something that we find the flaws, the shallow spots, the inconsistencies inherent in it. And in that learning, we grow into a practice that has nothing to do with custom, and all to do with love.

In the spiritual life there are many practices. Once you have learned the essentials, you are meant to go forth into the deeper aspects of spirituality. But if you don't approach the beginning stage with an intensity of heart, with a purity and sincerity meant for serious following, you will not go much further. Nor will you find out which flaws you need to avoid, where the shallow spots are that you want to pass by or the inconsistencies that lie in all good spirituality, but which you can only discover yourself. 

To have a deep spirituality, you must do more than simple following along. For to just follow will be to remain stagnant. You must live spirituality with an intensity that challenges all perceptions. Then and only then will you find that the deepest and authentic aspects of the spirit will be made manifest to you.

Personal Encounter is the Way

In life, we know the distinction between an author and his works. This is especially true when we've read works by an individual, and then had a chance to meet her. No matter how good the writing, it is never a substitute for the real thing. At its best, it is only hints.

Knowing Jesus is the same. We can read and even memorize scripture. But it can only bring us so close to Jesus. We must learn to know him by personal encounter, through prayer and grace. Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis writes The written Word, even when profoundly meditated upon, can at best bring us to the threshold of the living person of Jesus. Nothing can substitute for this personal encounter, this merging of the horizons of the person of Jesus with my own, this convergence of my and our existence with his, here and now.

Advent is a good time to sit and have a chat with Jesus. As with any relationship, it takes time. Isn't it good to get started?

Turning Toward the Light in Preparation

Advent. A time when darkness reaches its longest day, and then recedes. At least in our hemisphere!

Advent is traditionally a time of preparation. In monastic traditions, it is a season rich with customs and advent practices, all meant to put the mind and heart of a person in readiness for a new awareness of the Divine. There is greater silence, fasting, good deeds, and prayers calling the Lord to come.

In this time of preparation, here in this busy world of ours, we too need to make a corner for some monastic Advent practice. An extra 15 minutes in the morning for quiet reflection and scripture reading. Or a time set aside during the day when we can recollect our thoughts and remember the real reason for this season. Take the time now to make a resolution toward this end. Check daily to see if you are faithful in keeping it.

Darkness yields to light. But only if the earth is rotating on its axis. We too need to turn on the axis of our existence, turn away from the darkness of everyday living, and seek the light of God's presence and his truth. For light is more in our hands than we realize, and our actions do make a difference in our journey and in our search.

Finding Peace Within

 

Peace. It's what should distinguish a believer from a non-believer. That ability to remain calm and tranquil no matter what may be happening. Peace is the gift God gives to those who seek him, peace that the world cannot take away. Yet, we know that this distinguishing mark no longer characterizes us as it did the early century believers. Why?

St.John of the Cross writes It is sad to see many disturb their soul when it desires to abide in this calm and repose of interior quietude where it is filled with the peace and refreshment of God.  St. John maintains we are our own worst enemy of peace, taking our soul out of quietude and forcing  it into restlessness and distractions. 

True, in our day of busyness, it is hard to find that interior place where we can remove ourselves even momentarily, to recollection and prayer. It is good to find a friend or two who can encourage us in this manner of acting, even a group. By a collected effort, we can bring back the mark of the early Christians, those who portrayed their beliefs through the peace and calm of their lives. We can be that sign, we can have the gift of God within our heart.

Color your perception with Self-Reflection

Perception. It colors everything we see, and that colors our opinions. Jesus would have us see things in truth. But truth is very abstract, and subject to various interpretations.

I think the secret to a good perception is the ability to self-reflect. How easy it is to see the faults of others. But self-reflection helps us to put ourselves into the picture as well. And that in turn helps us bring the picture into reality.

Jesus was considered kindhearted except to those who considered themselves righteous. Those were the leaders of the people who felt they were above the rest. Obviously, they could not self-reflect. If they had, they would have listened to Jesus parables, and realized where they stood. And they would not then have stood so firmly in their judgements.

Perception, self-reflection, following Jesus. All should make us kinder individuals, giving a more gentle approach to life, willing to extend a hand instead of a boot.

Teach me to Pray

One of the most interesting lines in scripture are the words of Jesus disciples, "Lord, teach us how to pray." They had the whole Jewish cycle of prayer, they had the law, they had the customs of their day. Yet, when they saw Jesus pray, it was different, he was different, and they wanted to know what he was saying in prayer that caused him to experience the Father in a way that was real and tangible.

Simon Tugwell says when we come to God, it is not to force our moods or our interests onto him, but to receive his interests and to let him, in a sense, share his moods with us...

In other words, prayer is when we become more a part of God. Is not this what caused the disciples to ask Jesus about his prayer? He became different. They wanted to too.

In our prayer, it is most important that we have this openness to God, this ability to take on his interests and to let him share with us. It is interesting that many who go to God in prayer hope for answers, but forget God wants to share himself with us. We should leave prayer with a greater sense of God, with a greater peace, a more wonderful hope.

I'd like to close this thought with another quote from Simon Tugwell on prayer: It is not the immediate feeling that is important; that may or may not come. What matters is that we should be, slowly and quietly, molded by  this rehearsal for and anticipation of the worship of heaven. It is a schooling for paradise.

The Only Mistake is to Succumb to Fear

If  you read the psalms daily, you will find certain ones speak to you at different times. Recently, reading psalm 25 struck a cord in my soul. It reads in part:

Make known to me your ways, Lord teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my savior.

Early on in my life, I was concerned about the need to be perfect.Only later did a holy person tell me this verse, and suggest I make it my mantra. I did, and gradually learned the havoc such a verse can create in the soul. Truly amazing!

The psalmist here is crying out to the Lord, that he may to learn his ways. But to do so, he realizes he must be committed to truth. But what is truth? Here I'm not speaking of the doctrine of truth, but of the truth each one of us needs in order to discern that path we are destined to follow. Only the individual can find that truth, through earnest prayer, contemplation, reflection and discernment.

When I read this psalm, my own wondrous journey comes to mind, the the marvelous things that were planned for me, things I could not grasp until I let go of my concept of perfection. Once I did, I began to do courageous things, believing in God's guidance and forgiveness. And what amazing things began to happen in my life!

If you are restless, dissatisfied with your life, feel something is missing or that you need a change, take this psalm and make it your mantra. Then go forward with courage, knowing the only mistake you can make is to stay where you are because you've succumb to your fear of making mistakes.

Power and Consequences

Choice. We make it every day, many times a day. It's the authority God gives to us, the free will that has real power and consequences. Yet, it is easy to let this slip, to fall back, to follow when we should counter, to agree when we should ponder, to ignore when we should take notice.

No major change in life will come from a life lived to the dictates of easy flow. Major change can only come from someone who regularly exercises choice. The more we confront our own issues, make the hard decisions, step out even when we are not sure, the greater our ability to move forward when life reaches that crucial point and we must do something or die. And I mean, die spiritually, cease to exercise rationally, lose our intuition and discernment. It means knowing when the trials you are suffering are telling you to change instead of accept, especially when such change will bring insecurity and an unknown future.

Each of us has to live by our decisions. So let's make it work toward our growth, let's keep it based on what is important in life, let's never surrender its power over to anyone else.

Dissatisfaction and Desire

We all have times in our lives when we are dissatisfied with how things are, and seek for something different, something better. Sometimes it is just a stage we are going through. But sometimes it is an invitation to rise higher.

In Bernard Bro's book Happy Those Who Believe, we read Consider Zacchaeus, who struggled against the prison of his conscious; Mary Magdalene and the Samaritan woman, who struggled against the prison of their heart...All sensed a call. They were in a state of dissatisfaction...we would never have dared to imagine these preparatory cries of the Old Testament when God said to Daniel: "I came to you because you were a man of desire." And in Jeremiah: "I will put them in anguish so that they may find me."

I think the key here may be desire. Life can weigh on us, it can flatten us down, it can take away the sparkles we once had in believing all things possible. We become matured, we know we won't get everything we dream about, we accept fate, or circumstances as though it is normal to get that flat tire and drive through life on the rim. But we shouldn't. We should keep the flame of desire alive. How?

It depends on our spiritual life, how active it is, how deep it has penetrated into our consciousness. Such a life will fan that desire to continue believing, continue hoping, continue dreaming through the reality. We will know life isn't about giving up these things; but in letting them mature and become more realistic.

One thing we must never forget: we are called. We have a mission, and in all the chaos, we will  discover it. So never settle for that flat tire. Change it, and continue on. Show the world that all things can conspire to increase  our longing, that our dissatisfaction itself signals there is more to be had, and we can have it. Then will dissatisfaction work in your favor; then will you bring out of chaos something of your dream.

Who is God for You?

In the old testament we hear of the great sin of idolatry, making gods out of stones or jewels or whatever fashion came in handy. Yet for all of us, the God we worship or adore is made out of our perceived concepts. It's all we can do. I think the real secret in finding God is that our perceived concepts come closer and closer to the reality. 

Who is God to you? How does that concept influence your life and more importantly, the way you live?  Those are the questions we need to ask ourselves. And this is the purpose of scripture-to give us glimpses of that God to inform our own image.

"I AM" God said to Moses. Meaning God is alive here and now. "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus asked his disciples. Meaning Jesus respects our notions of him even as he helps us come to a better understanding.

We need time to comprehend, to study Jesus, to learn the great I AM. That is why you cannot have a spiritual life without silence, prayer, meditation. That is why externals are only so useful, and internals are indispensable. That's why no matter how long we seek, we still have more to find.

Putting Faith to the Test

Believing. Often time when we say we believe, we mean rather that we have been convinced of a truth. It is the convincing that requires time, reflection, meditation, experience. To believe simply by word of month does not produce a believer, but someone unconvinced who accepts things on another's word.

Much of our lack of faith these days stem from this second type of belief. Those who fall by the side of faith, who "give it up" never really had it to begin with. They carried it like a lifesaver in their pocket, used it only when they felt they had a need, and found it got stale and old quickly. So they moved on.

To have faith means to take a truth and pound out of it everything that seems crass. It means to challenge, to put to the test, to argue with it until you are so sure of what you believe nothing can shake you. To do this, you have to study, to ponder, to really immerse yourself and put yourself out. If you are slow to believe, then when you do accept some form of faith, you will be the stronger one. Because you haven't taken it on someone else's words. You have taken it and made it your own.

Let me See Beyond

Sight, in spirituality, consist of the ability to see beyond "the veil" of temporality. Unlike normal eyesight, this gift must be cultivated. It is this cultivation we term "seeking perfection." In the spiritual journey, we are not seeking some sort of state that defies human existence; rather, we are attempting to live in an awareness of the spirit that moves both within us and around us.

In his book The Naked Now, Richard Rohr writers You can be ignorant of your birthright. You can neglect the gift, and thus not enjoy its wonderful fruits....That seems to be the case with many people...who do not know who they are and whose they are, people who have no connection to their inherent dignity and importance.

I think the striking words here are dignity and importance.  We don't even know ourselves if we remain in spiritual blindness. It's no wonder externals mean so much to our society, to our kids, to us. We don't know our own dignity and importance, we don't realize the power of God within us, we don't sense the all abiding presence there for the taking, and always ready to make sense of our lives.

To find light is to take time with that which is spiritual; to sit with silence and let it wrap its arms around you, to hear the inspirations of God in the stillness and darkness of your own soul. When you see, you do not so much begin to imagine spiritual realities as to make sense of the burdens in  life. You began to look beyond the events and believe in destiny. You pierce the veil and know you are never alone. You realize that the temporal is not the abiding reality; there is a spiritual dimension to give it direction, meaning and purpose.

Turning Around to See

The gift of God. It is a strange phenomenon in the spiritual life that we often have to have a gift before we can desire it. Or perhaps more correctly, we do not realize we have a gift until our eyes are opened and we see. Richard Rohr says in The Naked Now  that Only people who have undergone some level of conversion can be told they have the Holy Spirit and be prepared to understand what one is talking about.

There we are, at that pivotal point called conversion. The ancients called it metanoia and they knew it was an action carried out daily in life, not just a one time event. In our lives, we are constantly coming upon that "Oh yea" moment, when we suddenly see something in a different light. The same is part of the spiritual journey.

Perhaps we need metanoia because the spiritual is so elusive and intangible, but certainly because we need to train our thinking to spiritual ways. Metanoia is not so much a "conversion" as a "turning around, facing a different direction, a change of attitude." Even in the material world one knows the need for continued growth, to learn new things, to look at life in a better light. The same goes for the spiritual. We "turn" every time we seek. We "face" every time we find that spirit of God within. And then, we can truly "gaze" upon the Divine, knowing that the gaze itself is cleansing, enlightening, uplifting.

Cherishing the Past

A tunnel used during the Civil War to assist runaways from the South. A monument to history, lost because when it began to crumble, those who do not give history much thought simple filled it in. And now it is no more. This tunnel was at the foothill of my childhood home.

We do not savor what we do not cherish. History can only be savored by remembrance. The past can only be celebrated by remembrance. In our lives, we will work to preserve that which we savor.

When I look at this picture, I wish my towns folk had had a little more respect for the past. Then they would have preserved this little treasure instead of blotting it out forever.

The Soul in Search of Destiny

James Stafford says that  The greatest and noblest joy in life for a human heart is searching out, discovering and pursuing the purpose for which God has called her into existence. In other words, one's destiny.

For these words to apply to one's life,  one must always be in the mode of searching and seeking that calling. This is counter to our present day culture (indeed, all culture) which prefers security, roots, familiarity.  Do we not look with skepticism at someone who changes careers or moves to another location because "I  haven't found my place"? Is there not a tendency to think, "Just can't get settled. Restless soul. Has no roots. Must have lost heart."?

And yet, this soul is braver than the norm. This soul is one who doesn't just talk about destiny; she does all she can to find it in her life. And she won't be kept back by honors, power, or fame. She seeks to be where destiny wants her, and she will not rest until she finds it.

There is a difference between a soul who is searching out and discovering her purpose in life, and one who is just plain discontented. That one word is peace.

If you just cannot settle in life, you will wander endlessly. But if your inability to settle comes from something deep down, where you know you are not yet where you need to be, there will be a profound peace, despite the unsettled nature of your being.You will not move impetuously, but reflectively, watching for the right door to open, and able to move on when it doesn't. You also know, only you can discern what is right for you. Others may advise; but that is all they can do. You have to live out your decision, for only you know the depths of your heart, and though you are not adverse to criticism, you are not living according to what others think you should do. (Many times when people are not courageous enough to follow their own dream, they distract themselves by advising others!)

That's because one needs courage, faith, and trust to seek out one's destiny in this life. These are hardly the traits of a restless, discontented soul. To never stop seeking requires immense bravery; to step away from security to continue the search requires tremendous energy; and to refuse to settle for a mediocre life requires constant faith and love.

So, if you are one of these souls, be prepared to be labeled. In a society that rewards those content with status quo, praises those who remain in a secure setting, and looks with suspicion on visionaries, you will stand out. But don't you lose heart. When you find the love of your life, your destiny, you will experience a joy that none can take from you.

The Active Work of Surrender

Yesterday's post can be easily misunderstood. Surrender can be understood as a passive act, one of waiting, one of letting something happen to me. But the type of surrender I speak of is something active, something engaging, something of work. It isn't a passive waiting; it is an active opening and receiving.

How many times have you done something special for someone, and they didn't say thank you because they didn't notice your kind deed? In the spiritual world, it happens countless times. Our work is to notice, to be on that spiritual wavelength to see it, to live on that plane.

Surrender prepares us for that depth. I used to think of surrender as something of "giving up". But it is more. It is accepting the hard things in life because we believe God will bring good from it. It is accepting a prayer not answered, knowing God does hear us, just maybe not give us what we think we need at this time. It is learning to understand someone else's point of view because we realize we don't always have the answer, we are not always right. It means accepting when we would rather be giving; waiting when we would rather be doing; sitting in silence when we would rather be shouting from the rooftops.

Surrender to God, and he will do all thing for you says a scripture verse. And the greatest thing is a new sight to see into the spiritual realm, where we recognize the wonderful things God is doing for us, and we lift up our hands in gratitude and praise.

Being found by Someone

Transformation. It's the goal of any human being who desires more. For those seeking a spiritual life, it means changing from what we are to something better, something deeper, in one word, someone. James Alison calls such transcendence a "falling into" or an "undergoing of God". And Richard Rohr says it happens to us rather than we make it happen.

For anyone who is not familiar with Richard Rohr, I encourage you to read his works or subscribe to his daily reads. He offers rich, deep, spiritual insight that is astonishing. In his latest book, "The Naked Now" he writes When you joyfully surrender to God...you seldom have the feeling you have found anything. It feels much more like Someone found you!

I would dare to say, this is the difference between those whose spirituality consists of rituals and obligations, and those who seek because they realize the one we are seeking is good. In one, we justify ourselves by works. In the other, we are justified by the one who saves.

Francis Thompson said it years ago in his now famous poem, the Hound of Heaven:

Wherefore should any set thee love apart?
Seeing none but I makes much of naught," He said,
"And human love needs human meriting,
                How hast thou merited--
Of all man's clotted clay the dingiest clot?
                Alack, thou knowest not
How little worthy of any love thou art!
Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee
                Save Me, save only Me?
All which I took from thee I did but take,
                Not for thy harms.
But just that thou might'st seek it in my arms.

When Light Blinds

Psalm 91:9 says You have the Lord for your refuge; you have made the Most High your stronghold.

There are times in our lives when the hand of the Most High is obvious, when we feel protected, blessed, cared for, nurtured. During these times we sense we are being carried by the spirit through fire and water, and no danger can touch our souls.

But there are also times when all this fades, when the hand of the Most High seems heavy, and we flounder through life questioning and requesting, but receiving no answer.

It is good to remember that when we feel blessed, that is God's time. When we feel lost, that is our time. The time to walk in the dark, knowing we are no less blessed because the sun isn't shining upon us. The time to believe in goodness even though we no longer have the tangible proof of it. The time to choose not because we love the return we've received, but simple because it is the right thing to do.

In times past, such journeys were called "dark nights" simply because we no longer enjoyed the light of a vibrant realization of God. But these times can sometimes bring greater clarity than the light, for it makes us choose not from emotion, but from conviction. When life is dark, and the way not clear, then we often show our strength and courage. Should that darkness last a time, we will find that we can live in darkness, because our convictions become strong enough to take the place of light. And then we  ourselves become the light, for others seeking, for those lost, for unbelievers who need to see in order to have faith.

Remember, there are others reasons for darkness than absence of light. It could be your light has become so bright that it blinds you.

Be Good for Something

I heard a great quote I'd like to share today: Be not simply good; be good for something. (Henry David Thoreau).

In our attempts to be good, we sometimes make goodness into a goal. And it shouldn't be. Goodness is only a fruit of something else, of effort, earnest living, honesty, sincerity, silence, reflection, and compassion.That is how, when you are good for something you have born fruit.

A Relationship of Change

"It's nice to see how your family has changed," I recently told someone. "The boys are so grown up and respectful, your husband is now taking on new responsibilities, and you are more at peace. It's nice to see how your family is growing and changing. I think that is a sign of a healthy relationship."

We tend to look for people who are where we are or who accept us as we are. And many times we hope to stay that way. But if we are sincere about our progress, our journey, our mission in life, than we should expect something different. We should expect challenge. And most challenges change us.

Funny how we accept that in nature, growth is a sign of health and life. No one complains when the seed they planted becomes a flower. Or when the seeded lawn becomes grass. It only does that through sun, rain and nutrition.

It's the same for our spiritual life. We need growth, and our sun, rain and nutrition is healthy relationships. A friend or companion who is healthy for me will be the one whose honesty and trust enable me to accept challenges. I will have the courage to forge forward, and not allow fear to paralyze me. I will accept constructive criticism because I too will trust and express honest opinions. Such a relationship cannot but help to nurture the strongest roots.

If you look at your life and fail to see it changing, then it might be time to re-evaluate your relationships.

Keeping in touch.

Keeping in touch. That's what good friends say to one another when their paths separate. Though we will no longer be able to spend much time together, let's keep in touch.

We need that same philosophy with the Almighty. Let's keep in touch. Let's find time to communicate, to appreciate, to celebrate.

It starts with the little times set aside to meditate. If one perseveres, it moves into a more continual dialogue. And then it becomes an underlying remembrance.

Let's keep in touch. Let's make it happen. Let's begin today.

Befriending God

What makes a friend? Not just someone to hang out with, but someone to confide in. No one confides in someone who cannot keep confidences. Nor do you like anyone who will always think they have answers. The best aspect of a real friend is the ability to emphasize, and listen.

If we want that spiritual relationship with the "Other" we need to develop the same traits. We need to spend time listening and learn to emphasize.

Strange, huh? We should do to God what we want friends to do for us. But it does work.

Reading the Psalms

If you are ever in need of inspiration, open up the book of psalms and start reading. In there you will find  a whole array of human emotions, from joy to anger, hope to despair, gratitude to questioning God and his ways.

I'd like to share what I read this morning from psalm 91: You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, Say to the Lord, "My refuge and fortress, my God in whom I trust."

I love the image of abiding in the shadow of the Almighty. It implies being so close to God that you are never farther away than a shadow can throw, and you are there "abiding" meaning, that's your regular spot. That image reminds me how as kids we tended to stay close to mom or dad, just because it felt safer. We sensed if they were close, nothing bad could happen to us.

Abiding also implies sensing a presence. For us mortals, that sense has to be a gut sense, an intuition, an awareness of something not seen. Becoming aware of God makes us also aware of the spiritual. And that leads us into a whole new realm of life.

I'd love to know what psalms you opened to this morning, and your thoughts on them.

The Lessons of Nature

Fall. Funny how a time when things are preparing for sleep is also the time of harvest. I never experience fall without being reminded of my youth, when we spent autumn picking apples and making cider at our apple farm.

Perhaps it is a lesson for life-that when life seems to be dying it is also preparing fruit. I for one prefer sunshine and mild weather. But I also know that apples cannot grow unless they have a certain amount of dormant days. Without that "rest" they simple cannot rejuvenate. And dormant days for apple orchards mean freezing temperatures.

Nature gives us so many lessons. That's why stillness and quiet in nature can be very instructive. Take can apple, and sit where you can imbibe the energy of nature around you, and learn.

Being A Single Voice

Echos. They fascinate us. Sometimes they do more...they draw us into a "following" mode. Now being a follower is not bad. But it isn't authentic either. When you are following someone, you are not being your best self.

To be authentic means to be brave enough to learn who you really are, when no one is around, when you are in your room by yourself, when there is no danger of criticism or shock or dismay. For we all fear the reaction we will receive if people really knew us.

We are meant to be clear, single voices. Each person has her part to sing. And when we sing our part, clearly and unabashedly, the melody only becomes more beautiful.

What happened to our dreams?

We all once had the desire to follow a dream. It's what propelled us forward. Think of yourself as a kid, and the daydreams you once had.

What happened?

Did you seek out that dream until you found it? Or did life get in your way?

Braulio of Saragossa writes for everything that is thought over and  meditated frequently becomes easier. (201).

Let us not forgo a dream because life has become difficult. Instead, let us think of that dream more often. In so doing, we gain the strength to step forward into making it happen. Meditating on such things will clarify our vision, strengthen our courage, energize our desires. And what is life if we are not pursuing a dream? It is old, bitter, and brittle.

Life is not a Tragedy

Attitudes toward life color everything we see and do. L Giussani writes Life is not a tragedy. Tragedy is what makes everything amount to nothing. Yes, life is a drama. It is dramatic because it is the relationship between our I and the You of God, our I that must follow the steps which God indicates. (343)

 The I and the You of God. We balance our whole lives on that phrase. In seeking God, we must not forget we are uniquely made and that our I will live forever. In caring for the I, we must not forget we are made for God.

The I is likened to the tree planted near running  water (God) that yields its fruit in due season, and whose leaves never fade. (Ps. 1) 

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Self-reflection. A way to look into the soul. No personal growth, no hidden treasure can be found without it. It requires more than stillness and silence. Nor is it a habit of comparison. Rather, it is a communication of mind and soul, a quiet dialogue with the self and God, a pause that ponders more than judges.

Self-reflection makes us wiser, calmer, more assured of who we are. It makes us less judgmental because we look at both sides of a story, and know that no one is totally innocent, so no one should bear all the blame.

Self-reflection requires courage, because what we find isn't always what we want to see. But that is the glory of it; we learn the truth about ourselves, which helps us shed the oblivious "me" of our dreams.  Such shedding reveals a very organic honesty, one that  refreshes simple because it is authentic. And isn't that what we all want?

Seeking the Deity Within

Recently someone shared with me the difficulty she had seeking  her true self. "I'm afraid to look inside of myself for fear of what I  might find," she admitted.

We often feel that way without realizing it.  We look for fulfillment outside of ourselves when we have a great treasure right inside our soul. Not that we don't need the outside stimulus or activity. Simply put, what it offers us pales to what we already have.

I admit, this is a hard concept to swallow. I too look for recognition, accolades, growth from the outside. I read constantly in an effort to learn more about myself and my journey. I forget that right in my soul is a Deity waiting patiently for me so that we can get to know one another better.

Its like having a great car, gas tank full, all the whistles and stops. And I look for something else to pull that car. Maybe a donkey,or a mule, or even a dog. All the time, the key is in the car, and if I would just sit down and turn the key, I would find the car has its own power to move.

True, all these thoughts require a certain balance.  But I still believe, we forget about the Deity within us, waiting to share with us the secrets of our hearts that even we aren't aware of.