The gospel story goes, The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field (Mt 13:44). I always thought of that treasure as something we find, something we sell all we have to buy that field so that we can keep that treasure. A treasure outside of ourselves.
Recently, while speaking with a good friend, a thought came as to a different meaning for this verse. I realized that actually, I am that treasure, and God is the one who gave up all to have me. I am that treasure because I have hidden inside of me all sorts of gifts and gems. I have goodness that I sometimes hide, and generosity, and kindness and mercy. But it is hidden inside of me. Life tends to make me think I must be hard, must be immoveable. And God saw that I was good; more, that I was a treasure. So God came down in Jesus, and sold his God-hood, and bought me so I could remember my compassion and mercy and goodness.
The thought came because we were speaking of the goodness that we have within, but how often we fail to remember it, especially when God seems deaf to our prayers, especially when we are crying out for guidance and open doors. When we cry for help and hear nothing but silence, it is easy then to blame myself: I am not heard because I am not pure enough. God cannot give me what I ask because I have failed in some way. It is always my fault, my failure, my negligence. That is the temptation.
And yet, we know, we have goodness inside. And no one knows this better than God. And so, when God does not hear our prayers, when doors do not open for us as they have in the past, we should remember that treasure hidden in the field. God has not abandoned us. God knows that hidden treasure.
As to why God makes us wait, that is a another question.
I've never really understood that parable. Your insight has given me lovely thoughts to ponder, and hopefully to know for myself.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I hope you will share your thoughts with us, so that we too can benefit from good meditation.
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