Building an interior room

 

It is sad to see many disturb their soul when it desires to abide in this calm and repose of interior quietude where it is filled with the peace and refreshment of God, writes John of the Cross. He maintains we are our own worst enemy of peace, taking our soul out of quietude and forcing it into restlessness and distractions, letting superficial events and people disturb us beyond reason. But peace is not an easy thing to maintain. How are we to enter into that place of interior quietude?

Part of peace is having that interior place, one we can retreat to when things get hectic or disturbing. We cannot retire to a place we don’t have. We must work to build such a place if we hope to use it in time of crisis.

Daily meditation (or Lectio Divina) offers us the building material for such a room. Once we establish the practice of daily quieting our minds to think on bigger things, we will have such a space for when life gets hectic or troubling. And peace is not always overcoming anxiety or fear, but rather not letting anxiety or fear overcome us.

Peace is often portrayed as a romantic concept, one born of things always going right. Such portrayals, as we all know, is an illusion. The peace of the spiritual soul does not depend upon the externals going right, but in the heart putting a proper perspective on events. That is only possible when you have the interior room for prayer, reflection, meditation and communing with the Divine. For it is the Divine who gives us the ability to maintain such peace.

Living the experience

Have you ever come to a time in your life when you cannot endure explanations of God, but yearn instead for insights that lead you into greater love? It is as though you have had enough of the maps of the how, and want to experience the journey first hand; a time when mere words are not enough, no longer feed, have found their limitation.

An ancient legend of an old woman describes how she is asked about her love for God. "Yes, yes, I love him very much," she replies. "And do you hate the devil?" she is asked. "I love God so much I don't have any energy left to hate the devil."

The story is good. If we put our energies in loving, we won’t have time to hate. We will be too busy seeking the experience to worry about how someone else is living out her life. But that is not easy in our day. There are so many baskets begging us to contribute something, our heart for this cause, our mind for this doctrine, our energy for this group. Though such causes are good, they can get us so caught up in the tangible that we forget we started out as seekers of the Divine.

It all started with a desire for the Divine; that we are where we are because we have come to love God deeply. We need to take the time to savor where we are in our journey, to stop and enjoy the moment of truth, the place our energies have brought us, the light we share.

It is time to let the Divine warm our hearts and seep into our soul. It is time to enjoy the presence we have worked so hard to identify within our very selves. It is time to put down the map, and relish being. It is time to let go of words, and live the experience.

Wait and expect

It’s that little nudge, that whisper in the back of our mind that comes quickly and then fades away. It prompts us to do something, to take something along, to change a detail. And how often, when we follow that little inspiration, we find we are glad we did.

That little voice comes to us often, and it begs to be heard. It can lead us into depth, where the spirit resides. We think of it as having little importance. And that is because we think the Divine Being cares little about our daily lives. We are wrong.

It is the story being carried out yet again, the story of Elijah running from Ahab, and waiting upon God. And the story tells us of all the wondrous, magnificent forces of nature that came while Elijah was sitting in the mountain cave, waiting. And poignantly it says, and God was not in them. The voice, according to the story, came to Elijah in a little whisper, something so soft and quiet that Elijah would have missed it had he not been waiting expectantly.

We need to expect. We need to trust. And we need to listen to the little voice prompting us along. Some of the times it will just be little things of seeming little consequence. But there will be times when we shall be amazed at what transpires. We just need to listen.

The invitation to come

Come. It was one simple word. And Peter got out of the boat and walked on water.

Much as been remarked about this incident as told in the gospels. It begs the question, how far will I go to follow my beliefs?

Jesus often invites us to “come” and step forward. What keeps us? For one, we tend to stay with what is secure, what is familiar. We might even question, what did Peter accomplish by this stepping out of the boat? He grew afraid and began to sink. And Jesus had to reach out and save him. What kind of faith is that?

But that is precisely the point. Peter did not hesitate to move, and when he needed Jesus, he was right there. Stepping forward toward the Divine does not negate fear or failure…it simple helps us rise higher in our relationship with God.

Life gradually rises higher in thought and in heart if we are willing to step out. And a follower of Jesus must come to the point when Jesus words come echo in her heart, and she must step out of the boat of security and dare to walk on the fluid water of hopes and dreams. If you begin to sink, well, you know Jesus is right there to catch you. Sinking is not the danger...staying in the boat and waiting for something to happen is.

Believe you will find that treasure we are all searching for...the destiny planned for you from all eternity. All that has gone before you has prepared you for a particular moment...living out your dream. Do not keep putting it off, waiting for the perfect time. Peter stepped out of the boat in a raging storm! So, when the whisper of God is in your heart, and you hear the invitation come, go for it. The prize is only for those brave enough to risk...and that should be you! You will love your new life because your dream will be fulfilled!

Wholeness of life

Open to me the Gates of Holiness, and I will enter and give thanks, we read in psalm 118.

Holiness means wholeness, a wholeness of self, soul and body, mind and heart. 

To enter the gates of holiness means you don't becomes some above reproach individual, but someone who has a different outlook on life. Small and petty things will drop away, for you can see a bigger picture, one that puts such things in their place. 

You will not be afraid to be vulnerable, to admit failings, to be human. Because  you know that grace builds on nature, and we are called not to some impossible dream, but to a wholeness that completes, heals, and gives life.

Wholeness of spirit is the only way to holiness. It brings together our failings and our good deeds, our desires and our fears, our wants and our needs. It blends them so we have confidence without being proud, hope without going to presumption, and courage without acting foolhardy. A spirit that is whole is a spirit living with her feet on earth and her heart in heaven.

Enter into the gates that lead to wholeness. There you will find Divinity. And in that light, you will become light, even to yourself.

Living in memory

Memeories are not always the same. Sometimes, they are distant and detached. Other times they are so vivid it is as if we stepped out of time and into the past, taking us back to former places, and bringing alive what we once thought was gone.

I guess I'm thinking this way right now because I am at the monastery where I onced lived as a nun for so many years. This is not the first time I have come down. But for some reason I cannot pin down, this particular time is moving me far more than it ever has in the past. And I wonder why.

Perhaps it is because an era has passed...the era of youthfulness and energy. As I go around the grounds,
thoughts of what once was keep returning to my mind. I remember how as novices we used to run out each wash day to hang clothes, praying for sunshine. In those days we used wringer washers, dunked the clean clothes in big tubs of cold water, ran them through the wringer and then took them out to hang. When we brought them inside, they smelled of fresh air and sun.

 I remember the vegetable garden I loved to work in each summer. No heat could keep me from going out each afternoon, planting, weeding, watering so that I could look forward to the harvest. It was a battle to avoid the fire ants, who also loved my garden. No matter how hard I tired, I never failed to get into a nest at least once a season. Still, when I brought in my fresh cantelope, fresh corn, and fresh tomatoes, it more than made up for all the trouble.

I remember most of all my place in choir: the organ bench. While others sang their praise to God, I had the unique joy of accompanying them. Too many emotions come with this memory, for my greatest love in life was music, and I was never happier than when playing before the Divine.

And so I battle my nostalgia. I suppose it is telling me I still have letting go issues. I suppose further that my true love comes from the values and lessons I learned once as a young nun, where life was interior and silent. And, I think one cannot help but feel somewhat in the beyond when in the atmosphere of a monastery.

Believe in your calling

I the Lord have called you for the victory of justice, I have grasped you by the hand; I formed you, and set you as a covenant of the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes of the blind, to bring out prisoners from confinement and from the dungeon those who live in darkness. Isaiah 42:6-7


This quote is often used to describe the mission of Jesus. But we should realize, it is also addressed to each and every one of us. We are called forth to be witnesses, to release those held strong in some kind of bondage. How? But living out what we believe, simply and honestly.

We must not doubt the power of a life lived in genuine faithfulness. God walks this earth, often in our own hearts. We may never know the gift we might give a person on the brink of despair whose path we crossed, the one we stopped to chat with for a few moments and offer a bit of comfort or concern. But there are times when such acts offer that person a new light toward a different path.

It does happen.

Don't cheat your destiny. Go forward with trust and faith. You are being called to be a witness. Remember, God has you by the hand, and has great plans for you. Plans for your building up, not for your casting down. You can be an instrument of grace.

Probing a new measure

It is refreshing when we can take time away from the daily routine, change our pace, and go in a different direction. We usually refer to these times as “vacation.” That is, when the plan is ours, we set the pace, and decide the direction.


There are times in our lives when these same situations are forced upon us. We tend to look upon such times as inconveniences, and begrudge having our style cramped. We need to pause at such times, and consider.

Not all inconveniences are meant to be dismissed. Some come into our lives with a purpose and a message. We can see this in the story of Genesis 12, where Abram is inconvenienced. The story says that the Lord sent Abram off from the land he knew into a land unknown. As he sent him, the Lord tells Abram: I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. And so Abram went forth, to a place he did not know, toward a future he could not see, and a direction he had not planned.

Peter Cameron writes that Because Abram…accepted this new measure for his life that came from God, the Lord made of him a great nation and made his name great.

And the Lord did it, not in Abram’s lifetime, but long after his death. Abram himself never got to see the promise fulfilled. And yet, Abraham is honored now probably more than any other religious figure we know, by Jews, Muslims, and Christians alike. And when you look closely at Abram’s life, you cannot find any extraordinary deeds, only a boundless faith. 

We need to be aware that when we are imposed upon, it may well be a new measure being offered to us. Can we make it into a place of grace? Are we able believe without having to have it all spelled out?

God's neglect

God neglects us. We have all felt it, thought it, experienced it. And I am just as sure, we have all questioned it.

But we are not the first to think these thoughts. The prophets before us, the writer of the psalms, the mystics, even Jesus himself felt abandoned at one point or another.

But what is God's neglect but a time to draw on our inner strength? We love getting what we want, especially in prayer. But trust and strength are built not by prayers answered, but by silence to prayers…a seeming neglect of God. In that silence, we are forced, so to speak, to find our hidden inner resources right in our own souls. And admit it...we would never have found that treasure had we gotten cared for the way we prayed we would.

Have you not been surprised, looking back, at times when you came forward with great courage and resourcefulness, when you rose to the occasion in a way that surprised even yourself?

Remember this the next time  you feel the neglect of God. Without understanding, know you have it within yourself to meet the challenge; that you are up to the task; that you are going to learn something in this stressful situation that you did not know before. Remember this, and you will find that the neglect of God is actually God drawing you deeper in Presence. For when you draw, you are drawing where your power and strength reside, the Divine Being.

A shadow uncovered

Our age has sought to bring equality to the fore as no age before it. We have sought out shadows and fought to bring light. We have set up models, glorified leaders, and proclaimed our heroes.

One shadow still remains; the shadow that covers every human soul and is in need of healing: the shadow of woundedness.

Woundedness doesn’t speak to glory, but rather to struggle. Yet, in all the ways that we are alike, and there really aren’t that many, none is so universal as that of being human and wounded. Perhaps that is why we call Jesus the wounded healer.

Sirach 24:21 says You who eat of me will hunger still, you who drink of me will thirst for me. It is as if we are being told no matter what our accomplishments, we will still have needs, we will still have emptiness, we will still want. And in our attempts to satisfy these wants, we often compromise. We have all done it, and not one person can stand aside and claim differently.

I think remembering this fact brings about a true unity, an honest community, a sincere equality. We stand together most of all when we admit our wounds and emptiness. Such acknowledgements should result in a greater understanding and compassion for each other in the journey.

Destiny

There is an attraction to those who believe in their personal destiny and follow it. One such person given us through scripture is the prophet, John the Baptist. 

Jesus said of John Among those born of women, there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptist! (Mt 11:11) Yet in the same breath he then declares, Yet, the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. What does this all mean but that we all have a vocation to fulfill, and finding that destiny brings us to true greatness?

Hans Urs Von Balthasar writes John was aware of his personal vocation as he grew up, and it is out of his awareness of having been called that he discovered his ineluctable symbol--baptizing in the River Jordan...John didn’t just find his vocation, he followed it though it certainly marked him as unusual.

We are all called to some task destined for us, for me, and no one else. John learned his destiny through a life dedicated and directed toward his God. His vocation was unique, but his calling was not. Our very restlessness speaks to this issue, of having a destiny yet unfulfilled. Why are we waiting? Is it fear of the risk? Or perhaps we have yet to believe that discernment requires a willingness to fail.