Reflection

A New Year about to begin. A time for deeper reflection and prayer. For reflection allows us to look differently at our life, by looking deeper into our life, at the things we treasure and the things we lose. Does our way of living reflect the values we hold? Are we missing precious opportunities because we fear? What are our fears? Where is our trust? These are worthwhile questions to ask, questions not easily answered, and needing deep thought and reflection.

To use reflection to our best interest, we need to start with a willingness to see ourselves in a new light. It is an openness of heart and awareness of mind, and calls for us to look at life again. What does real life look like to you in your best moments, your quiet moments? What is it that you yourself actually want – deep down—and how much are you willing to give up to get it? If we only realized that most answers are there, deep down inside of you, waiting for you to be still enough to see them. It requires us to become truly "awake" to both the grace of God, and His guidance in our lives. 

Through reflection, what we believe in becomes the manner in which we live.

Holy Innocents

Father, the Holy Innocents offered you praise by the death they suffered for Christ the opening prayer says for today. How can the Church glorify the slaughter of innocent children, children torn from their mother’s arms and slain right in front of them? Jeremiah did not try to “pretty” up the death of these children, as he writes: A voice was heard in Ramah, sobbing and loud lamentation; Rachel weeping for her children, and she would not be consoled, because they were no more. Does not a Feast in honor of these cruelly slain children in some respects condone the crime?

But this is the difference between how the Church thinks and how the world perceives. By glorifying the death of these children, the Church is demonstrating one of it’s most ancient truths…we suffer from the hands of our fellow human beings; but God can bring good out of any harm or crime done against us. Think of St. Therese, who says that God does not want to see us suffer, indeed, He suffers when we do. Then why does He allow it? Because, He has given each one of us the gift of free will. If we are truly free (and we are), then our choices are simply that, ours. And these choices do affect others. Frederick Faber preached, Jesus did not bring suffering into the world, it was already here. What Jesus did was to take on our suffering and make it redemptive.

And so today celebrates the glory brought to children who were cruelly slain. They are crowned because He Who Is reached down with His Almighty hand and snatched them from those slaying them, bringing them up to Himself in Light and Love. He can do the same for us.

Thy Almighty Word

“While all things were in quiet silence, and the night was in the midst of her course, Thy Almighty Word leapt down from heaven from Thy royal throne.” (Wis. 18 :14-15)


No scripture quote so captures the eagerness of God to be with us as this one from Wisdom. Why is God so eager? He is with us always. Why this urgent desire to leap down from his Throne in Heaven to take on the swaddling clothes of the manger? Why, but to give us the opportunity of beholding him face to face.

The Book of Perfection says: Happy that luminous eye of the heart which, in its purity, clearly beholds him before whose sight the seraphs veil their faces… We can see God; He is among us. Our job is to make ourselves aware, to find sight to see, to live on that level where God is not the stranger, but our intimate companion, our confidant.

This level of living brings us into the world of the mystics. Michael Demkovich, OP, says that modern society senses its lack of holy mystery. He believes we have important questions to ask: how can we let go and be less attached to things? What is at the core of who I am? How can I break through the barriers of life? We are searching for answers, but the ready answers of social constructs fail us. We seek something deeper, something that speaks to the ache in our soul.

Would you see God face to face? Keep in mind the image: The Almighty Word leapt down. You have the power to make it land in your soul.

Shipwrecked at the Crib

The crib at Bethelem. A time for reflection and veneration. We seek ways and means to prepare ourselves for the glorious feast of Christmas. But what is the best way to prepare? Good deeds, giving alms, fasting and prayer. They lead us, but only so far. Brennan Manning believes we need to go further…we need to be absolutely convinced of our own vulnerability. When we are, we find that the child in the cradle represents something more than salvation, as important as that is. The child is the image of God accepting our own state, that of vulnerability.

He writes that God entered into our world not with the crushing impact of unbearable glory, but in the way of weakness, vulnerability and need. He feels present religious culture has prettified the Christmas story, reducing the crib to a tame theological symbol so that we can think of it with warm and fuzzy feelings of piety. He believes we need instead to feel shocked at what we find at the stable, shocked to see the Son of God in the state of our vulnerability. Such shock is possible only when we recognize that we ourselves are truly poor, vulnerable, broken, almost desperate. Manning calls it the feeling of being shipwrecked. One realizes how she is shipwrecked when one realizes that in reality, she has absolutely nothing.

José Ortega writes: This is the simple truth – that to live is to feel oneself lost. Whoever accepts this has already begun to find herself, to be on firm ground. Instinctively, as do the shipwrecked, she will look around for something to which to cling, and that tragic, ruthless glace, absolutely sincere because it is a question of her salvation, will cause her to bring order to the chaos of her life….She who does not really feel herself lost, is without remission; that is to say, she never finds herself, never comes up against her own reality.

Meister Eckhart says: In Christ equals in peace. To find Peace this Christmas we must first find ourselves. Then the stable will be more than mere good feelings for us for the light it offers or the salvation it brings. The stable will remind us where we stand, shipwrecked. And the Jesus who lies there will be the reality we need in our lives: God is all, and we are nothing.  Knowing that, realizing that fact, kneeling in shock before the truth of that statement…that is where you find yourself. And in that truth, with the babe in Bethlehem, you will find Peace.

The Desert

The desert. Isaiah speaks often of it. The desert and the parched land will exult (35:1); the most famous prophet of all, John the Baptist, is described by Luke as A voice of one crying out in the desert: Prepare the way of the Lord!

The desert. Madeleine Delbrêl writes: There has been a lot said about “the desert of love.” Love seeks the desert because the desert is where humankind is handed over to God, stripped bare of country, friends, fields, home. In the desert, a person neither possesses what he loves, nor is he possessed by those who love him; he is totally submitted to God in an immense and intimate encounter. That is why in every age the Holy Spirit has compelled all lovers to seek the desert (from We, the Ordinary people of the Street).

The desert. Eusebius of Caesarea says that prophecy makes it clear; not in Jerusalem, but in the wilderness: it is there that the glory of the Lord is to appear, and God’s salvation is to be made known to all mankind (Cap. 40: PG 24, 366).

What is the desert? To some, it is the peace and quiet of recollection (Loretta Ross-Gotta). Ross-Gotta also says that such recollection begets the stark edge of fear that this doing nothing, this being, this offering of oneself for God to be the actor, cannot possibly be enough. It all seems so passive. Do something, perform, earn your keep. And why is the desert questionable? Because, she continues, few of us possess the radical belief such recollection requires.

Do you want to go into the desert? Then follow those who went before you. Follow Mary. As Ross-Gotta notes, The angel summoned Mary…from the rather safe place of conventional wisdom to a realm where few of the old rules would make much sense. She entered that unknown called “virgin territory.” She was on her own there. No one else could judge for her the validity of her experience.

The desert. Go into the desert, and through recollection, find God. It will change your life.

Cassian and Telos

The writings of the Desert Abbas and Ammas portray a people living with a remarkable singleness of mind. They left all, because heaven was real to them. In speaking of these ascetics, Cassain describes scopos (goal) and telos (the end that is proper to them), through examples of other professions, the warrior, the merchant, and the athlete. All such individuals endure deprivations and dangers because their minds are focused on the end result, the reward. The same lessons apply to monastics and to Christians. Cassian says, The end of our profession… is the kingdom of heaven. But, he says, the goal or scopos is purity of heart, without which it is impossible for anyone to reach that end. Fixing our gaze on this goal, then, as on a definite mark, we shall take the most direct route. And what is that route? Finding first the kingdom of God within our own souls, being aware of the presence of God within.


The desert fathers lived an ascetical life precisely to find that kingdom of God. It prompted them toward sacrifice and abstinence, tears and prayers, sighs and groans. All became part of the process of emptying the heart of all that was not pure, so that they might see God here and now, within.

John Tauler says: Those who look within themselves for the gifts and decrees of God partake of them at their very fountainhead, and there they give them back again. They draw and taste at the very fountainhead… nowhere can they find their own selves in a way so certain and so simple as in that innermost depth, where we feel the immediate presence of God…[From The Sermons and Conferences of John Tauler].

Jean Vanier says that we forget that God comes to us in the deepest part of our beings, at the source of our life, the innermost heart…[from The Heart of L’Arche: A spirituality for every day]. Our task is to prepare our eyes to see the pearl of great price hidden within the field of our own heart.

My Light and my Salvation

The Lord is my light and my salvation, says psalm 27.

When I first prayed this psalm, I believed it was a prayer of trust...if God is with you, whom should you fear? No one. But then life's trials ovecame me. My prayer of trust seemed small, unheard, and forgotten. I soon turned to other prayers, those that cried for help and assistance, not those that spoke of me being strong.

But when healing came and my life changed, Psalm 27 changed too. Instead of reading it as a prayer of trust, I began to see it as my witness to the truth. Light draws. Jesus draws. But sometimes Jesus hides or seems far away. Who will be the light during these times? I will, by being the faithful soul who is open to letting the light shine forth.

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who radiated light, and you were awed to experience God's power within the human soul? Having the Light within speaks volumes. Such light brings salvation to others. The Lord is my light so that I may be someone's refuge. Not by words. But by following the inspiration that brings comfort to a grieving or suffering soul. The Lord is my light. We are called to be light as well.

Finding My Way

Often the following of Jesus is described in negative terms; the way is narrow, few are those who find it. Many are called, few are chosen. Such lines could fill us with the dread that unless we are in some way miserable, unless life is hard and we are suffering, we aren’t followers of Jesus.

I beg to differ. St. Catherine of Siena says that “the way to heaven is broad,” and that “all the way to heaven is heaven.” I’ve always been impressed with the contradiction of St. Catherine’s statement and St Matthew’s gospel passages.

So what is this narrow way promoted by Matthew? I’ve come to believe that the narrow way spoken of in the gospel points to the way destined for the individual, one no one else has traveled before, because it is meant for me alone. Following that way is difficult, because it requires learning discernment, overcoming the fear of making a decision because it might be wrong. It means taking chances, having courage to be responsible for my choices, having the ability to say I’m wrong, turn around, and try again. To follow the “narrow way” is to follow that path set out for me alone, the one God intended that my feet, and only my feet trod, the one that leads to my destiny. It requires blazing my way through areas no one else has gone before. It requires letting God be my beacon, over everyone else. Yea, scary stuff. But oh! so fulfilling! It doesn’t discount other’s inspiration and admirable conduct. But it does realize that however much I’m influenced by another’s journey, my journey requires a particular faithfulness to God’s plan for me. And few there are who have the courage to believe and follow such an individualized path.

Trust

We all know that one of the greatest assets we can have in life is knowledge and belief in our inner strength. For a Christian, that strength comes from trust in the power and the presence of the Almighty. Trust is not built by prayers answered, but by silence to prayers…a seeming neglect of God. The gospels give adequate examples of such neglect: consider the raging storm on the sea when the Lord slept in the boat until, in terror, the disciples cry out, “Lord, save us.” And His reply was, “Why were you afraid?” Their ship was being tossed and thrown about in the waves, about to sink. But they had forgotten the most important thing: that they had Jesus there among them. Whatever happened, he would be there.

I’m always reminded of a tough time in my life, when I prayed psalm 23 and wondered, if the Lord is my shepherd, and I should not want, why do I want? Was Jesus really not my true love? Was it inappropriate to have needs? What was wrong with me? I had forgotten to continue reading the psalm, to the words, “even though I walk in the dark valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me with your rod and your staff that give me courage.” If I had found that line in my heart, I would have been comforted with the knowledge that it is not so much prayers answered, or light received, or miracles happening that show the power, love, and care of God for us, for me. It is darkness endured, trial undergone, pain received. We can manage these things because God is with us. His presence is so deep within us that we can forget it is there. In hindsight, perhaps we will see how the Hand of God led us on. In the moment, we need trust to know that however dark that valley is, we should not fear. We should reach out in the dark, knowing that the unseen hand of God is already reaching out to sustain us in our struggle. Once we become convinced of that, we are terrible indeed. For then, nothing will separate us from the Love of Christ, and our steps will be firm along the way, knowing that we do not travel alone. This is our source of inner strength, a source not dependant upon externals that sift and change with time. But a source that guides us even in our darkest hour.

Metanoia

An important concept that comes straight from the gospels is that of conversion. Early hermits of the Egyptian desert looked upon this concept as fundamental to Christian living, and called it metanoia. The concept is deep and profound, and considered by early Abbâs and Ammâs of the desert to be the only authentic sign of a true follower. By its nature, metanoia is an act repeated daily, hourly, every moment of one's life.

To understand this concept, it is good to look at how modern day monastics explain it. In a sermon by Matta El-Meskeen, a modern-day Eastern-rite monk, we read: “…the word repentance is a rendering of the original Greek  metanoia which means literally a ‘change of thinking’ or a ‘transformation of the spirit’” (From his book Communion of Love). It is the duty of monastics to begin their life by first changing their thinking...from myself to "I AM".  We all know the struggle such change requires. We can't decide once, and it happens. We have to struggle continually to turn from the "me" to the "Thou". The process begins a transformation of heart that allows God's grace to permeate the mind and soul, and elevates the spirit, teaching it through infused knowledge.  As Olivier Clément writes, it is "knowledge which begins and proceeds by way of repentance, or as the Gospel and the Greek Fathers call it, metanoia: the turning round of our self-awareness, the Copernician shift of the self (individual or collective) from geocentric to heliocentric, enabling us to see in the depth of everything around us the furnace of the divine sun" (On Human Being: A Spiritual Anthropology).

The Abbâs and Ammâs of the desert knew the grace of metanoia.  Once the soul turns around toward God, in a face to face manner, God's light will enter the soul, cleansing it, enlightening it, filling it. Such face to face contemplation cannot but lead the soul to a higher level of consciousness of God.

In the Garden of the Soul

The Jerusalem Community Rule of life states that "One single word expresses the place where the whole quest for holiness converges: your heart..."  It goes on to state that in the heart "the Eternal meets with time; where an immortal truth was inscribed...before the world was created..." We tend to think of our heart as the seat of emotion. This Rule suggests it is rather a garden, not unlike the Garden of Eden, where we can meet, walk and talk with the Eternal. An awesome concept, considering we often look for God outside of ourselves.


The mystics knew of this presence of God within, drawing heavily from this fountain. But we need to remember that every baptized Christian is called to mysticism. Jean-Claude Baneau writes that "mysticism is as necessary to humanity as science, if not more so…For mysticism is an existential attitude, a way of living at a greater depth.” (Preface to Clément’s book, The Roots of Christian Mysticism). Why, then, the scarcity of mystics? Because we look at mysticism as something esoteric, something “synonymous with spiritual illusions in fevered souls of sentimental spirituality, emotional, subject to ecstasies, visions, revelations…”(From Ildegarde Sutto “Contemplative Experience in Cassian and in the Rule of Benedict from the American Benedictine Review, 54:2). True mysticism is attainable, because it is "the fruit of the action of the Holy Spirit, which enables us to have a relationship with God or with the divine world that is not logical or rational, but simple, affective, intuitive and unitive…” (Sutto).

To return to the Jerusalem Community Rule: “let the word of God penetrate you as deep as the division of soul and spirit…Then all secrets will lie open before you in a way you could never have dreamed. There in your inmost center the Spirit will scrutinize all, even the depths of God’s nature!” To obtain such inspiration we need to teach ourselves the benefits of silence, sitting before God with a stillness of mind and openness of heart. The stance of the soul sincerely seeking God!

The Journey

Serious individuals know that life is a journey. Most self-help books will offer you advice on good attitudes, positions, and guidelines for the journey. But for a Christian, life’s journey is only one part of the equation; the journey is only a means to the destination. To attempt a journey without a solid destination is to wander about without a compass. And if your destination is vague and nondescript, then your journey will be confusing, and over time you will become disillusioned.


A Christian’s journey is directed toward heaven, the home of pure light, God. We are attracted by the light because it informs and encourages us. When the light is hidden, we know that that is part of our journey, and we only increase our desires and our efforts. Our goal will lead to perfect fulfillment.

How does this destination make our journey different? For one, we know that here we do not have a lasting city, and that our hearts will not be totally filled with any of the joys or pleasures we can find here on earth because they are meant for God (Augustian’s concept). So we understand the difficulties (and even expect them) as part of the journey. Knowing the destination heightens our anticipation, and actually gives us courage along the way. Who has not experienced the joy inherent in the struggle when the known end result is transformation? Think of the dieter, the athlete, the student. All endure because they know if they do, they will emerge a “new person.”

The same applies to the Christian, and even more, to the monastic. It’s not enough to believe. It’s part and parcel of the Christian life to follow “the way” toward something, or rather, someone. Knowing the destination propels us forward toward transformation. We see the journey in a totally different light because it is passing. Our goal isn’t the perfection of our journey, but learning the guideposts and finding the way destined for us. By so living, we can achieve the fulfillment of our purpose here on earth.

Inner Spirit

Audré Louf writes “There are books which only transmit a patiently acquired and judiciously expressed knowledge. On the contrary, others well up from within, flowing as from an inner source. Born of an experience with which they still resonate, they tend to communicate this experience as if by vibrations, by a secret connivance.”  If you want to travel deeply into the spirit, and reap the greatest benefits from spiritual reading, you need to develop an atmosphere of contemplation. First needed is the ability to be still and listen. We tend to use prayer for asking...for questioning...for adoration. These are good. But not enough. To be able to sit before God in silence and open the heart to His inspirations...this is the essense of contemplation. It's the experience of Elijah, who waited to hear the voice of God on the mountain side. 1 Kings 19 tells us "A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crashing rocks before the LORD--but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake--but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire--but the Lord was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound."  And God's voice was in the whisper. The incident demonstrates how God reveals Himself not so much in the highlights or dramatic elements of our life, but in the quiet silence of reflection. That's because silence helps us learn about God, and opens our hearts to His words. By sitting before God in silence and stillness...we give ourselves the best possible gift. That of opening our heart to God, so that He may fill it.

The truth about Community Life

Living in a monastic community brings both companionship and solitude. It's a perfect combination, and probably the only one of its kind. Private time allows one to do lectio divina, meditation, and your own work. Community time together brings companionship, support, and wonderful times together. Imagine living with people whose core beliefs are similar to your own. Imagine conversation on issues where you are free to express your opinions freely and let your opinions be influenced by others insights. The experience is unique, bringing much joy and peace.

Penthos

Penthos is a forgotten virtue in our day. Yet the Fathers and Mothers in the desert insisted that unless you had it, you were not on "the way". "If anyone does not destroy the passions of the soul with the fire of tears, he will never be able to acquire charity, which is the fullness of the law" says an author of the life of Saint Theognos. Why do we not hear about this? Our devotions tend to be clean and sanitized. Emotions are actually discouraged. Yet, early Christians felt emotions were part of the human condition, and should be directed toward the spiritual!