Destination. We like to know, and even in our spiritual life we like to be able to see the goal here and now. But there are times when we have to be content to journey along without having a clear picture of destination.

If you have ever been in darkness on this matter, you will recognize the dilemma. It can be a change of careers, a move, a turning point in life. You pray and ask for guidance, and wait for some clear signal of where you should go. But you find darkness instead, and you sit and wonder, am I doing what is right? Am I going in the direction I need to go? And you pray, “What do you want from me, Lord?”

Such times call for a deepening of faith. It is like the disciples on the boat with Jesus. One would think that if Jesus is there, all should be fine. But this night, a storm breaks loose on the sea, and the disciples are in fear of being capsized, of drowning, of losing their life. And Jesus sleeps on, seemingly unaware of their dilemma. When the disciples wake him, he isn’t so much concerned with the storm as he is disappointed that they are terrified. “Why did you fear, oh you of little faith?”

Those words are a reminder to us that knowing the destination is not the all important thing. What is important is keeping faith, continuing on even when we are not sure. For Jesus is never far, and knowing is not as important as loving. Jesus asks us to believe, even when things are dark, even when we can’t see, even when he seems asleep.

Expect more

Our great expectations can make us beacons of light

We've all heard it said, that we've come to expect too much and so set ourselves up for disappointment. Usually this is said about our modern conveniences and a society that expects instant results.

But I think the problem is rather, we don't expect enough. I think we place our expectations in the wrong field. I think we look for fulfillment in social achievements when we should look instead for personal goals. That's what I think.

Your typical person today doesn't expect much of him or herself when it comes to faith. For some reason, our faith has become very passive. We are not required to face the lions, or hid for fear of our lives, or even stand on the street corner and argue for what we believe.

Yet, faith isn't just what we believe; it is how we live out that belief, making it the door that opens up a different level of life. When our expectations are high regarding faith and all we can accomplish with it, we become boulders of strength and lights upon mountain tops.

History tells us of individuals whose living faith made them stand out through the vision they encompassed, a vision often ahead of their times. Sometimes the very people they represented misunderstood them. But that didn't deter them. Because they expected more--more of themselves and more of their fellows.

We need more visionaries today. We need more people willing to open the door into a higher level of life. We need greater expectations of what our faith can do for us.

Moment of grace

Clouds break and bend light rays to expose color

The Southeast is experiencing an unusual weather pattern. While the rest of the US wilts with record heat, central Alabama is enjoying cooler and damper days. For a person very much affected by the sun’s rays, I find this a mixed blessings. I enjoy the cooler temps, but I would love to bask in the sunlight. Still, this being Alabama, I know the sun will shine again.

This reminds me of life itself. I’d like the sun to shine continually on my spiritual life as well. I’d like the way to be smooth and clear, and the challenges few and far between. But life isn’t so easily managed.

Bede Jarrett writes: Faith is the basis of life, and charity is its crown; but hope is its greatest need. Most of the difficulties of life come because we are so prone to lose heart.

I like the thought that many of our difficulties come because of our tendency to lose heart. That means life would be just a little easier if we kept in mind the working of grace. This means remembering that no matter what happens, all things work together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28).

This one verse alone could calm our anxieties. We would look upon reverses, calamities, and setbacks not in the light of broken lives and disappointments, but with the knowledge that no matter what, God can and will bring something good from this situation.

To keep hope, then, is to keep one's face turned toward the light, and know that however dark the cloud that obscures it, the sun will break forth once more. It is not a fantasy that keeps one detached about life, but a solid belief that with every event comes a special grace. Hope is more than looking forward. It is a way of accepting life itself, with trust and certainty about the goodness of the Divine Being.

Divinity waiting upon us

Morning moon

Walking early this morning, the sight of the moon partially hidden by clouds caught my fancy. I was thinking about monasteries, and how when the boom of applicants in the 50s was replaced by scarcity of applicants in the 60s through to today, life changed inside the monastery. Thinking of the influx of the 50s, I realized that it was sparked by the recent war, with death and suffering very present to the minds of the young. In the face of such thoughts, many looked for something deeper, more lasting, more eternal.

Why do we have to face death and suffering before we make God a serious part of our daily lives? For a death sentence strikes fear to those who know little of the Divine Being. And learning about God now brings peace and joy.

My thoughts go to a deathbed I witnessed in the monastery, where the rather young sister was dying of cancer. Death was not fearful for her. She greeted it with a joy so profound and a peace so deep it is hard to describe. This attitude affected me very much, as I was one of her caregivers, and saw her suffering, her quick decline, and her willingness to accept it all. She had made God her friend, and so she could welcome death because she believed she was going to someone she knew, someone she had thought about often.

We too should develop a friendship with the Divine, and not wait for suffering or death to force the issue.

Which brings me back to my walk this morning. Seeing the moon shining through the clouds, it occurred to me that living without an awareness of spiritual things is like walking in the moonlight. We can see, but in a dim way. Faith has always been called a light, a light so steady that no suffering or death can dim it. More importantly, there is so much joy to be had in building a spiritual relationship with the Divine it is a pity so few seek to develop one while life is going well.

Let's not wait for death to force spirituality upon us. Let us develop a relationship now, in the fullness of health.  Divinity is waiting for us.

The sign of God

In our spiritual lives, we tend to look for guidance under the form of some sign, especially when we need to make a decision and we are not sure what is best. Am I to go ahead? Is God hearing me? Is it time for a change? What is this experience telling me about life, or direction, or purpose?

And yet Jesus criticizes those seeking signs and wonders. I wonder why.

It cannot be that we are not to see signs, for Jesus complained to his disciples that they failed to see the signs that were all around them. But perhaps that is the problem. Instead of seeing the wonders of God and what life is telling me, I want it to see something else. I ignore the more obvious in hope of finding something different, something more to my liking or my disposition.

It can be likened to the door that closes, and I stay at the door knocking, waiting for it to be opened. If I turned around and ventured in a different direction, I would see the opportunities before me. But I tend to want something so badly that I stand at that closed door waiting, hoping, and then feel disappointed when it does not go as I wanted.

Sometimes I must be willing to go forward into the darkness and believe without seeing. Times when I must trust that my decision was made to the best of my ability, and that in time light will come. These are times when there is no sign but the prompting of my heart.

Perhaps that is the message I should understand about signs. I have strengths inside of me, but I often fear to make use of it in spiritual matters. I want some signal that I am going in the right direction, instead of taking that chance of trusting my heart.

The chief sign that I possess is faith, and I carry that within my own heart. It is the sign above all other signs, and will help me to see even in darkness. Faith gives me the strength to go forward even when I am not sure, and will carry me through any discernment process.

Finding my true treasure

The morning sun

It was a line on the radio talking about things of the heart. The announcer said, “We think we know what we want, but we really don’t.” He was talking about online dating, and how sites match you, not by the questionnaire you fill out, but by the choices you make on their site. 

Which proves, we have a hard time knowing our own hearts. 

I fail because such discovery requires peeling off my misconceptions, dropping my false bravado, standing vulnerable and imperfect before myself. To do that, I must have one great, big, and expansive trust in the goodness and love of the Divine One. I will not be able to accept myself if I am not first convinced of God’s total acceptance of me; that I am precious in the sight of the Divine.

Perhaps this is what Jesus means when he tells Martha, "You are upset and worried about many things. But only one thing is necessary" (Lk 10:41) Perhaps Martha felt she had to do all of these things if she were to please Jesus with her service. And Jesus upset the whole picture by telling her, only one thing is necessary, that the treasure is more simple than that.

The one thing necessary. How can I find that one thing, that one treasure, the real desire of my heart? It is intricately bound up with my ability to stand vulnerable and wounded before myself, and let go of the need to please. It is found only with a strong and firm faith and trust in a Divine love and goodness.

Accepting what the journey brings

Seeing and not seeing. It's often a topic on Monastic Ponderings. We become conscious because we want to see. We practice compassion so that our hearts will respond better and know more. We meditate so that we are aware. It all implies a willingness to journey. But there is another aspect to our journey: a willingness to accept what that journey brings.

It happens that sometimes we fail to see, not because we are spiritually blind, but because we don't like what we see. The product is not what we expected, we'd hoped for more, or less, or better. We find ourselves in disbelief that after all we've done, this is the result? And so our journey has brought us to a point we do not want to be, with a decision we do not want to make, and a revelation we would rather not have. It is natural to resist.

It just goes to show that no one ever "arrives" at a place where struggle ceases, despite all the rhetoric to the contrary. The journey will always have its challenges, and we will always have choices. Paul complained about his own battles, about the struggle, and doing those things he did not want to do while not doing the things he planned. And the reply he received was "My grace is sufficient for you."

We are pilgrims in this life, and we should know that faith will carry us forward. For revelation can be having our expectations thwarted so that what we think is replaced by what really is. It's worth a thought. And isn't that what the journey is about anyway?

Become a Visionary

Dreamers. They don’t see life or the world the way other people see it. They live on a different level, a different plane. Their lives are perceived full of opportunities, not obstacles. And no obstacle stays an obstacle for long, because they invariable find a way to change it into a stepping stone. For them, nothing has to be permanent because all things can be transformed.

Hans Selye is quoted as saying realistic people with practical aims are rarely as realistic and practical in the long run of things as the dreamers who pursue their dreams.

Dreamers are visionaries. It’s no wonder scripture is full of men and women who dreamed dreams.  These were the individuals who ventured forth to change nations, challenge kings, and lead a people into a land not their own.

Dream a dream today.Let it take you aloft to new heights and change your view of the world, of life, of yourself.