Seeing and not seeing. It's often a topic on Monastic Ponderings. We become conscious because we want to see. We practice compassion so that our hearts will respond better and know more. We meditate so that we are aware. It all implies a willingness to journey. But there is another aspect to our journey: a willingness to accept what that journey brings.
It happens that sometimes we fail to see, not because we are spiritually blind, but because we don't like what we see. The product is not what we expected, we'd hoped for more, or less, or better. We find ourselves in disbelief that after all we've done, this is the result? And so our journey has brought us to a point we do not want to be, with a decision we do not want to make, and a revelation we would rather not have. It is natural to resist.
It just goes to show that no one ever "arrives" at a place where struggle ceases, despite all the rhetoric to the contrary. The journey will always have its challenges, and we will always have choices. Paul complained about his own battles, about the struggle, and doing those things he did not want to do while not doing the things he planned. And the reply he received was "My grace is sufficient for you."
We are pilgrims in this life, and we should know that faith will carry us forward. For revelation can be having our expectations thwarted so that what we think is replaced by what really is. It's worth a thought. And isn't that what the journey is about anyway?
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