In our spiritual lives, we tend to look for guidance under the form of some sign, especially when we need to make a decision and we are not sure what is best. Am I to go ahead? Is God hearing me? Is it time for a change? What is this experience telling me about life, or direction, or purpose?
And yet Jesus criticizes those seeking signs and wonders. I wonder why.
It cannot be that we are not to see signs, for Jesus complained to his disciples that they failed to see the signs that were all around them. But perhaps that is the problem. Instead of seeing the wonders of God and what life is telling me, I want it to see something else. I ignore the more obvious in hope of finding something different, something more to my liking or my disposition.
It can be likened to the door that closes, and I stay at the door knocking, waiting for it to be opened. If I turned around and ventured in a different direction, I would see the opportunities before me. But I tend to want something so badly that I stand at that closed door waiting, hoping, and then feel disappointed when it does not go as I wanted.
Sometimes I must be willing to go forward into the darkness and believe without seeing. Times when I must trust that my decision was made to the best of my ability, and that in time light will come. These are times when there is no sign but the prompting of my heart.
Perhaps that is the message I should understand about signs. I have strengths inside of me, but I often fear to make use of it in spiritual matters. I want some signal that I am going in the right direction, instead of taking that chance of trusting my heart.
The chief sign that I possess is faith, and I carry that within my own heart. It is the sign above all other signs, and will help me to see even in darkness. Faith gives me the strength to go forward even when I am not sure, and will carry me through any discernment process.
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