Truthful eyes

When we think of seeking the truth, we are not just talking about a spiritual reality toward some concept. We are also speaking about finding the truth in our own lives, in our awareness of ourselves, in our ability to communicate honestly with another. That’s because any kind of meaningful relationship requires an honesty and forthrightness that challenges our personal conceptions, and calls us to seek the truth about ourselves and our frailty.

Robert Wicks in Seeds of Sensitivity writes it's not so easy for me to have such truthful eyes. I guess it isn't for anyone who wants to be an honest, vulnerable healer in concrete situations rather than a person of love in the abstract sense. Abstract love never involves risk or failure, just good wishes and a rich imagination. Still, love in the concrete often is not pretty but its results are wonderful if we are willing to take the chance to encounter ourselves honestly as we open ourselves to others in ways in which we are willing to follow through on our promises and commitments. (81)

According to Wicks (and life demonstrates this as well), our encounter with someone else can only be as deep and as meaningful as our willingness to encounter ourselves in truth. Our relationship with God is similar. We can only know him through truthful knowledge of ourselves.

A Relationship of Change

"It's nice to see how your family has changed," I recently told someone. "The boys are so grown up and respectful, your husband is now taking on new responsibilities, and you are more at peace. It's nice to see how your family is growing and changing. I think that is a sign of a healthy relationship."

We tend to look for people who are where we are or who accept us as we are. And many times we hope to stay that way. But if we are sincere about our progress, our journey, our mission in life, than we should expect something different. We should expect challenge. And most challenges change us.

Funny how we accept that in nature, growth is a sign of health and life. No one complains when the seed they planted becomes a flower. Or when the seeded lawn becomes grass. It only does that through sun, rain and nutrition.

It's the same for our spiritual life. We need growth, and our sun, rain and nutrition is healthy relationships. A friend or companion who is healthy for me will be the one whose honesty and trust enable me to accept challenges. I will have the courage to forge forward, and not allow fear to paralyze me. I will accept constructive criticism because I too will trust and express honest opinions. Such a relationship cannot but help to nurture the strongest roots.

If you look at your life and fail to see it changing, then it might be time to re-evaluate your relationships.