I don't often think of division on my spiritual journey. I think of authenticity, of determination, and of commitment. In fact, I think of wholeness. Yet, as creatures, we often find ourselves divided. We can relate to St. Paul, who wrote in Romans 7:15, the good I will to do, I do not, and the evil I will to refrain from, that I do.
I have not given much thought to division until I heard someone speak of integrity. Integrity, according to this person, is the gap between what you say and what you do.
That definition puts a whole new light on Paul's words. I think our tendency for division comes in thinking in black and white, right and wrong, good and evil. Such thinking tends to divide us, makes us believe we are either on one side or the other.
Jesus often chided those who thought in such a matter. In Matthew 23:4 Jesus complains how those in authority burdened their faithful with laws and commandants they themselves did not obey. It makes one pause and think.
So, if we find division within ourselves, perhaps it has to do with integrity. Perhaps when we say one thing and do another, we build up a division within ourselves. Then, because we are divided, we think in divided terms.
In other words, as Jesus tells others in Matthew 23:4, we do not always do that which we want to. And it is best to be honest, as Paul is honest, and say so. Then, we live with greater integrity, we narrow that gap in our life.
I wonder if this is what it is all about. Does integrity make us honest about our struggle, or do we pretend to be something we are not?
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