Filling the gap between words and deeds

I don't often think of division on my spiritual journey. I think of authenticity, of determination, and of commitment. In fact, I think of wholeness. Yet, as creatures, we often find ourselves divided. We can relate to St. Paul, who wrote in Romans 7:15, the good I will to do, I do not, and the evil I will to refrain from, that I do.

I have not given much thought to division until I heard someone speak of integrity. Integrity, according to this person, is the gap between what you say and what you do.

That definition puts a whole new light on Paul's words. I think our tendency for division comes in thinking in black and white, right and wrong, good and evil. Such thinking tends to divide us, makes us believe we are either on one side or the other.

Jesus often chided those who thought in such a matter. In Matthew 23:4 Jesus complains how those in authority burdened their faithful with laws and commandants they themselves did not obey. It makes one pause and think.

So, if we find division within ourselves, perhaps it has to do with integrity. Perhaps when we say one thing and do another, we build up a division within ourselves. Then, because we are divided, we think in divided terms.

In other words, as Jesus tells others in Matthew 23:4, we do not always do that which we want to. And it is best to be honest, as Paul is honest, and say so. Then, we live with greater integrity, we narrow that gap in our life.

I wonder if this is what it is all about. Does integrity make us honest about our struggle, or do we pretend to be something we are not?

Signs of the nature of 'I'

Tranquility...our attitude toward our humanity

Lent. A journey toward Easter. But often, in this journey, we feel bogged down by our humanity. And we often arrange our Lenten practices as means of overcoming and subduing such humanity.

Julián Carrón views it differently. He writes how many times are we tempted to look at the concrete humanity in which we find ourselves—for example, the unease, the dissatisfaction, the sadness, the boredom—as an obstacle, a complication, an impediment to the realization of what we desire! We get angry with ourselves and with reality…

He goes on to say that we live in the illusion of going ahead by cutting away a piece of ourselves. Instead, we should realize that the very struggles we have in our human nature are there to show us that here, in this life, in this world, we do not have a lasting city. Unease, dissatisfaction, sadness, and boredom are not symptoms of an illness to treat with medicines; this happens more and more often in a society that mistakes disquiet of the heart for panic and anxiety. They are rather, signs of what the nature of the “I” is. The “I” that is created with a capacity for the infinite.

And so, the humanity we discover in ourselves is not something to cut out of our lives (even if we could!) but rather the signature of God written deep in our hearts, a signature that says we are made for something bigger. Carrón continues, The real obstacle on our journey is not our concrete humanity, but [our] disregard for it. Everything in us cries out [for] the need for something to fill the void.

It sounds like we are better off listening to our hearts. Because it will lead us to understand, we have been made for greater things.