The self in hiding

Whether we know it or not, each one of us is haunted at one time or another by words attributed to Genesis 4:9: Am I my brother’s (sister’s) keeper? 

Marianne Watts has strong views on our failure to attend to another in pain and suffering. She believes that when we ignore someone in distress, we do so because we prefer our "gardens of ease." She further accuses us of doing so because we choose a structure for shallow lives and a stockade which distances the suffering not so far beyond.... She writes: When the dark side of human nature is denied, it is often compassion that dies. 

I find Watts’ words a little harsh, and perhaps even a little dramatic. I think there are many reasons we may hide behind a "stockade."  Perhaps we have worked hard to step away from pain, and assisting someone in a similar situation opens up too many wounds. Perhaps we have served others for years (this applies especially to mothers who live for everyone else) and finally we realize we have been neglecting ourselves. Perhaps we have already concerned ourselves with others, and find we have come to a place and time in life where I need to take care of myself.

So, how do we deal with the haunting thoughts to be concerned with others? I think Madeleine Delbrêl offers us another way when she describes it as an encounter, an encounter with the goodness of Christ.” She develops her thought, describing how such encounters offer us an opportunity to encounter our real selves. She says The world forces us to be ourselves plus something else… Encountering ourselves through helping our brother or sister in the scriptural sense heals us of these false images.

So, if we believe Delbrêl, each time we become a "keeper" we not only help another, we in some mysterious way help ourselves. Strange, isn’t it? Only a wonderful Divine Being could make a service become a benefit. Only God could make an encounter healing, fulfilling and fruitful.