Making room for sacred space

By Sr. Mary Grace Thul, OP

I have always loved psalm 27, especially verse 4: One thing I ask of the Lord, this I seek, to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.

You have to understand why this psalm meant so much to me. I lived in a monastery, and my life flowed with the rhythm of prayer, meditation, and silence. When I prayed those words, I took them literally.

But then life happened, and my life within the House of the Lord became jeopardized. I said this prayer with greater intensity, as my one request truly became for the grace to stay there always. Despite these longings, despite my desire, my health deteriorated, and I watch with increasing hopelessness as my treasure slipped away through my fingers.

In the end, the Lord did not grant my request. No answers came, and I had to accept my fate, that monastic life did not suit my personality, my temperament, or my needs. I left the community and the monastic way of life with a heavy heart. I grieved my loss, living in the House of the Lord, for I believed my loss was irretrievable.

As the years have passed, those words from psalm 27 continued to haunt me. And I've come to understand a number of things. I've come to realize that the House of the Lord is precious because of Presence.  I realize that it is Presence that fills a choir or a church. It is Presence that I can sense when on monastery grounds. I can bring that same Presence into my own life. When I do, I make a sacred space within my own heart and soul. Then, my apartment, my car, or a walk in nature becomes for me, the House of the Lord. And I can dwell in that House all the days of my life.

That is now my goal. To remember. To make room for sacred space.. And because of my understanding of Presence, I no longer grieve.