God will wipe every tear

Disillusionment. It has been a topic of late. Part of it came because we had the Gospel of Mark 10: 35-45 on Sunday, where James and John want to sit on Jesus left and right hand in the kingdom, and Jesus tells them they know not what they are asking. But part of it came just from journey, and how we discover things in life, things we had no clue were happening deep inside of us, until something or someone touches us deep down where we knew not, and we find there a deep seat of emotion and pain.

Disillusionment rocks our boat and threatens our safety. It has to. For disillusionment tells us our image of life and of God are not accurate. I think how we handle disillusionment determines whether it becomes a period of growth or a period of defeat.

I think most of us have an image of God within our own minds, and that God is suppose to be loving and kind. Yet, sometimes the pain we suffer in life makes us question that. I know that feeling. I know that question. I know disillusionment.

I found great comfort in the words of Revelation 21:3-4: I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, God's dwelling is with humankind. He will dwell with them and they will be God's people and God will always be with them as their God. God will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away."

These words tell me that God knows my tears. Not only does God know them, but the words imply that God will wipe every tear from my eyes. I find comfort from this verse, as it reminds me that my suffering shall not be forgotten. Somehow, in God's plan of things, it shall count for something. Even though God did not save me from suffering, that suffering shall somehow be turned into something better.

For I too have found my image of God distorted by my very human understanding. I too continue to experience disillusionment along my journey. I hold on to the hope that each disillusionment will not be a defeat, but rather a peeling away of the layers of my ignorance.

For disillusionment can be God's way of teaching me. I can learn only if I let go of Whom I want my God to be and accept Who God really is. I can take disillusionment not as my stumbling block, but as another door opening to a deeper understanding. I can. It just takes time and patience.