Living divided or undivided?

Darkness is not dark to the enlightened soul

I don't often think of the cause of “division” on my spiritual journey. If I think of it at all, I think of it as my battle between good and evil, my desires battling the world that challenges me. As I say, I don’t often think of that. I would rather think in terms of unity and wholeness.

And yet, we all battle division in some way. We can relate to what is ascribed to Paul in Romans 7:15, the good I will to do, I do not, and the evil I will to refrain from, that I do. Paul admits finding division within himself, despite his intense love for God. 

I am thinking of this because recently someone gave me her definition of integrity.  Integrity, she said, is the gap between what you say and what you do. Interesting concept. The smaller the gap, the greater the integrity.

This puts division in a whole new light. It makes it, not the difference between good and evil, but my own wiliness to address my struggle and my honesty with myself. In other words, it is not the battle that rages outside of myself, drawing me toward either good or evil.  It is rather the gap between what I say and how I live, my words versus my actions. My own authentic honesty with my life and where I am on my journey.

Looked at that way, division is seen as my own openness to enlightenment. I am divided, not because I struggle, but because I deny my struggle. I am divided only when I remain blind to my human side.

That makes the real question a little different. If I find myself divided, what is my vision? Just how honest am I about myself? Am I pretending to something that isn’t there? Am I open to enlightenment, or do I cling to the false security of darkness?

For enlightenment brings me closer to reality, the truth about myself, and my situation in this world. Enlightenment offers me the choice of truth, and that truth leads to integrity.