Some years ago a book titled "Why bad things happen to good people" took the market by storm. I looked up the author of this book, and found it was a father seeking answers for his own pain in watching his son die at age 14. What struck me most was his statement in the preface, that while watching his son deteriorate before his eyes (he'd known his son would die young since he was 3) people gave him answers, but none of the answers addressed his own questions about God and the pain he was forced to endure.
We all know that proclaiming ourselves as followers of Jesus doesn't spare us pain and sorrow. I think it is a mistake to pass our suffering off with quotes from scripture, quotes such as "Carry your cross" or "God will not give you more than you can bear" or "his grace is sufficient for you." I think that is a mistake because it does not reflect the real question of the individual heart. Remember, even Mary questioned Jesus after his disappearance, asking him for a personal explanation of why he caused her such pain: My son, why have you done this to us? (Lk 2:48).
Pain and sorrow are real, and can sear the soul and devastate a person. I think we best deal with such things by finding our own answers within our heart, by soul-searching for the lesson, by asking God why, and listening for God's answer. The answer may take time to reveal itself, but my journey toward that response will be fruitful, even if I don't see it until many years later. Because the answer best for me is the one I find as I walk through the darkness and pain.
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