Sometimes I find my soul gets in the way of my life. That is, I think too much with my heart and not enough (at least at times) with my intellect. I am looking for meaning when perhaps I should be looking at studies or documents or perhaps even theology.
Do you have that problem too? Do you find that sometimes you don't want life to be examined on a slide, you just want it to have meaning. You want it to make sense, but not so much sense as to squeeze all mystery out of it?
Perhaps that is the problem. I love mystery. I find it the gem underneath all my unanswered questions. And while I am pondering those unanswered questions, and delving into how it might transform my life, I am missing out on documented ways of progressing.
I cannot say if this is a deficit, or if this deficit will be damaging to my outlook on life. Perhaps, and I am just suggesting to myself, I need to find the balance between the two. For me it is far more exciting to find insights for myself than to let others alway find the meaning, the reasons, the facts of life for me. Not that I am opposed to learning! But perhaps there are aspect in my journey that I feel I just need to discover for myself.
I say this as I fill my backpack with textbooks and head off for a day full of learning. I say this as I think about my job situation and my lack of sufficient employment. I say this as I look forward in life, and try to balance my soul with my brains.
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