Today I visited a friend who recently learned that she has terminal cancer and is given only a very short time to live. The news totally shocked all of us, including herself. She had no clue she was so sick.
She had began a spiritual journey a while back that led her along a very different path than the one she had been on previously. I looked at her lying in her hospital bed, helpless to overcome the pain and sickness that had overtaken her. I thought of her faithfulness to the path of her calling, her dedication to God, working toward a closer union with him, and I told her what an inspiration she's been to me. She looked at me and said, "As I look back now, I can see how God was preparing me for all of this." I listened to her and thought, yes, looking back we often see the hand of God in our lives.
Hindsight reveals things we don't often see in the moment. Sometimes our most difficult times were times of our greatest graces. Looking back, we often see clearly how God was leading us, and we did not know it.
You would think that once we realize this, once we looked back and saw just how much God took care of us, we would never doubt him again. But it doesn't work that way. Each time, we must remind ourselves anew.
That's when it's good to look back and remember. When looking forward seems fragile, look back. Remembering God's care is a great antidote for fear or doubt. Remembering just how much the Divine has been there for us, guided us, lead us along the right path can give us courage to face uncertainly. My friend certainly exemplifies that.
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