Value of Vulnerability

We know we are on a quest in life. Yet, we do grow tired of the seeking. I think one of our problems comes from our culture. We like to possess, to accomplish, to arrive. And yet the very nature of quest is longing, seeking, journey. I find this in myself, the desire to "arrive" and find myself sometimes stressed with continued seeking, especially when things are dark.

Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee speaks to this kind of attitude, attributing it to our masculine vs feminine side. He notes our quest is goal-oriented, and that masculine values even dominate our spiritual quest: we seek to be better, to improve ourself, to get somewhere. We have forgotten the feminine qualities of waiting, listening, being empty (24). I find these words ring true for me.

Perhaps some of these problems stem from our concept of waiting. For us modern people, waiting is more of a punishment, an inconvenience, a test. Waiting implies some sort of failure to arrive. Possession is seen as our accomplishment. And not to have possession implies emptiness.

Yet, much happens in waiting. We do more self-reflection while waiting than in possession. We are more attentive, more alert, more filled with desire. Waiting also increases our yearning. Vaughan-Lee  says longing awakens us to our own need,a need which we can never satisfy, and so we become infinitely vulnerable, exposed to this need.

 None of us like to be vulnerable. Yet, isn't that our true state? The secret to accepting vulnerability is to stay aware of our protector, the all-present ALL. Only then will yearning bear fruit. Only then will we see value in waiting.