Recently another move brought out again my need for clarity. I worked hard, I tried to be attentive, and I sought direction. Yet, things weren't working out like I'd hoped. I grappled with the realization that trust means not knowing the whole picture, but accepting where I am now and being able to wait.
Wait. That's a hard one for me, and I suspect many others as well. I don't want to wait. I want to run. I want to get on with my life, I want to put everything in order so I can feel secure and safe. And unanswered questions don't allow me to do that. They make me wait.
Maybe you can identity with this, the agony of waiting. There is a lesson to be learned in it, I'm sure. But I still don't like it!
I think the best way for clarity and clear answers is to go into oneself insilence and it seems everything appears as if one is a magic eight ball.
ReplyDeleteI can relate my whole life seems a bunch of starts and stops, and not really feeling I have ever arrived at my destination. Perhaps that is the lot of strangers and pilgrims as we look for a different city a heavenly.
ReplyDeleteSome of my struggles are intertwined in a story line at colmcille@blogspot.com called colmcille's cell. I have not been very active at adding much only one entry this year, sometimes what we are not doing speaks as much as what we do. It is kind of a story so start with the oldest entry and read forward, perhaps it will spur a thought or a prayer.
I think that when life seems a bunch of starts and stops, its because our society has defined "success" in purely material terms. But living in the spirit tells us otherwise, that when we are searching, we are succeeding, regardless of what the world thinks.
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