Someone has said that courage isn't a lack of fear, but the ability to overcome fear. I think the same applies to faith--its not a lack of anxiety about life and issues, or never doubting. It's the ability to overcome these.
I was trained otherwise, to believe that I should never be afraid, or doubt, or question. I tried to live that way, tried to believe that trust in the Lord meant an absence of anxiety. But such a way of life proved superficial as well as artificial. It did not stand the test of time. Luckily, my disillusionment did not destroy me, for I met someone who led me down a different path, one more authentic, one that recognized the need to address life as it happens, to call a spade a spade, and not let it throw you. One that didn't look at life simplistically, but accepted that each person's life is complicated and unique, and each person has different issues to overcome. This journey led me along a path that has proven rich in itself, for it called faith more of a lighthouse to illumine than a blanket to cover.
When you think you are lacking in faith because you are anxious, realize that you have a choice: to go forward with a conscious choice to trust in the process, or to blind yourself with thinking all will turn out well simply because you believe. And when things don't turn out as you expect, well, I hope you find someone to lead you down the path to reality, so you do not lose hope. Someone to open the door of truth, and encourage you to believe even when things don't turn out well. Because faith isn't an insurance policy. It is food for the journey that helps you through all the various crisis we experience in life.
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