Going beyond security

Each new day holds its own challenges

The class had to decide on priorities. A sheet of values had been handed out, and we had to number them from one to thirty, from most important to least. Then we shared.

I was not surprised that politics were very low on everyone's list. But I was surprised that I alone put security down at the bottom as well. Most put power. Or wealth. Or beauty.

I put security down because I found it can be a trap. It can become the focus of my life (and honestly, who doesn't want to be secure?) or it can keep me bound in the secure zone. I no longer want to be held bond. I want to be free.

I do not disdain security. I just know, from personal history, how deceiving it can be.

For too many years, I banged my head against the door that was obviously closed to me, willing it to open. I did not have the courage to turn to the doors that were open. I could not. It involved stepping out into the unknown.

Since stepping out, since risking all, I have found that the journey offers a great deal more than security could ever offer. Yes, it is unnerving at times. Yes, it requires that I constantly renew my faith. But that is the gift of the journey. It demands that my spiritual life never settle.

Andre Louf's book, Teach us to Pray, says: There has come down to us from one of the early Fathers of the Church a profound saying: 'Prayer is as yet imperfect where the monk continues to be conscious of it and knows that he is at prayer.'

Daring to risk taught me that kind of prayer. It became natural because my constant need kept me turning to God. There were great revelations along the way. And there were scary moments when I wondered, if just perchance, I might have a bit of respite.

I do not suggest that you should toss security to the dogs. Your journey is whatever it becomes for you. I am only sharing how, having been forced into a life without security (and God does have a way of forcing the issues at times!) I have found that this too has its rewards. And that is why it is at the bottom of my list.

Oh, and at the top, I put spiritual growth. Something many others put as well.