I was driving down the road the other day thinking, "Gosh, I wish I could lose some weight. Yea, and I also wish I had a thicker head of hair." A very striking picture of myself began to form in my mind. I was gorgeous! But wait! I also needed more.....more money, more security in life, more possessions, more confidence.... I was carrying on in this manner when something in my head said STOP!
As I reflected on what had just happened, I thought of the verse often used in Advent liturgies:
Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low.
The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth. (Luke 3:5)
I suddenly felt convicted: These words speak to accepting who I am, here and now, with the imperfection, the added weight, the lesser being I feel to be. I find this hard. I have longed wished I was more....
Mountains and hills are like that...making us believe we are on top of the world because we stand where we can see more. And be honest...who has not dreamed of becoming someone of distinction? Yet, mountains and hills do offer us a bit of fallacy...the need to be on top, or in other words, the need for unreal or unattainable perfections.
It's no wonder Luke tells us the mountain and hill must be made low....
I bring those mountains down whenever I can accept myself as I really am...be it the extra pound or the lack of confidence.
As for the crooked paths, who has not experienced setbacks and roadblocks along the path of life? I still cry over "what could have been" had my life unfolded in a neat and straightforward manner. Yet, as I look back, I can see (even though sometimes I don't want to) how these crooked ways led me straight to where I need to be today. I don't like it, but I can appreciate the destination.
What I am trying to say is, as Advent offers us the opportunity to be renewed, let it also remind us of those things that do not need to be renewed. The very real me that I am, without the make believe or fantasy. I can and do get a little crazy at times with this "renewal" thing.
I believe God is the one who accepts us the most. We spend most of our lives trying to be better, or at least in thinking that we need to be more than we are. I believe God would have us learn to accept the imperfect in ourselves, our limitations, our pounds over what we want to be and our hair being less than we desire. Why? Because that is the authentic me. And being authentic is far more powerful and wonderful than being a knockout gorgeous person with distinction. Trust me on that one.
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