Becoming the sign

Reading through the book of Zechariah chapter 8, one comes to these words: ten people of every nationality, speaking different tongues, shall take hold, yes, take hold of every Israelite by the edge of their garment and say,  "Let us go with you, for we have heard that God is with you."

What a great description of a spiritual person. Who would not want this to happen to him or her? I know that I would like to bear such witness, to so live out my faith and commitments, that I could so radiate the peace and love of Christ that people would come up to me and say, "Tell me what it is that makes you different. We can tell you have a power and tranquility in your life that is unexplainable. Share your secret with us, for we too want to experience this peace."

John Eudes Banberger writes the simplest realities frequently conceal the most mysterious of truths under cover of words...words that point to realities that lie beyond our ability sharply to define them. (CSQ 45:1) 

We do not have the power to make simple realities mean something. It is our encounter with Divinity, our awareness of Presence, that makes us different, that gives us something others cannot describe but do want. We step into a different world, and live on a different plan when we go beyond the veil of the here and now.

It is a good reminder that in our journey, we do not search for the Divine just for ourselves. No matter how many or how few people we touch, there are souls waiting for someone to help them find the way. They are looking for that sign, that person, that life that is already on the road, who can help them find their way.  May you be that sign.

Become a visionary

Let faith illuminate your life

We've all heard it said, that we are a society that has come to expect too much and so sets itself up for disappointment. And, of course, there is truth to those words.

Yet, I think the real problem is, we don't expect enough. I think our expectations are misplaced, temporal, very fragile. We look for what society expects from us instead of probing into the depths of our soul for our faith, our mission, our destiny in life. Without that inner probing, of course we will find life empty, regardless how successful we might seem.

Perhaps the problem comes with our definition of faith. Unfortunately, the word has become marred with misrepresentations, fanatics, fundamentalists or worse. Faith should be the light shining through our lives, giving meaning to ordinary happenings, and guiding us on a journey. For some reason, we think of faith as something very passive. And that does us no good.

Faith should be the doors that open up our lives to something more meaningful and fulfilling. That kind of faith changes our expectations, and we dare to do things we would not dream of otherwise. We become lights upon mountain tops and signs of Divinity to those around us.

History chronicles individuals whose living faith made them singular because of the vision they encompassed, a vision often ahead of their times. Sometimes the very people they represented misunderstood them. But that didn't deter them. Because they expected more--more of themselves and more of their fellow travelers,  they did not back down or compromise. They held their vision high, and went forward to do great things.

So, we do need to expect more. If we did, we would have more visionaries today. We would have more people willing to open the door of faith to step into a different level of life. We would know that it is necessary to have greater expectations of what our faith can do for us.

Loss and found

I loved reading Heather King's story of her loss and found. She tells how her lawyer career left her feeling empty inside, betrayed by her colleagues and disappointed in her profession of her hopes and dreams. She then begins to doubt her life, think of all of her struggles, and wonder what was wrong with her that she can not seem to fit in? In the midst of her questioning, she made her first retreat, and a kind director, seeing anguish all over her face, touched her lightly and said, You're very dear to God.  She felt overwhelmed with the gesture, and writes Christ is just the Person who sees you when you feel like you're most invisible. In a way, Christ is just the Person who knows what's in your heart before you do.

There is so much implied by these words. First, that we all have those moments when we wish someone would see the real me...and Jesus is just that person. Secondly, any real search for Jesus, for Divinity, for God, ultimately reveals our real self. For our search isn't just for some 'feel-good' experience; it is looking for that something to steady us when things aren't so certain, finding a "someone" rather than a "something."

Experiencing the encounter

In life, we know there is a distinction between what an author writes and who that author is as a person. One has only to meet an author to realize this. No matter how good the writing, it can never a substitute for the real thing. At best, it only hints.

It is the same for our spiritual life. We can read and even memorize scripture. But it can only bring us knowledge of Jesus. To really know him we must experience him by personal encounter through meditation and contemplation. Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis writes The written Word, even when profoundly meditated upon, can at best bring us to the threshold of the living person of Jesus. Nothing can substitute for this personal encounter, this merging of the horizons of the person of Jesus with my own, this convergence of my and our existence with his, here and now.

How do we experience this personal encounter? By practicing metanoia, turning to the Divine repeatedly, seeking, searching, yearning. When we turn our thoughts toward treasured unseen, we open the door to a relationship that goes beyond the veil. In silence, we hear the voice of inspiration, of invitation. As we continue to turn, we enter into a conversation with the Divine, and we eventually experience that wondrous encounter. For the spirit is not as far away as we formerly thought

The dark brush stroke

It's not the events in life that throw us off track; it's the failure to find the gem in them that keeps us from profiting. If we fail to discover that gem, to hold on to it, we will keep running...running from pain, running from loss, running from the reality we find difficult to accept.

Such are my thoughts reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter. A story of loss, it tells in vivid detail how failure to find the gem can slowly destroy one's life and the lives of those around you. As I read this story, I feel haunted by memories of my own life and loss, and wonder, have I dealt with such things, or am I in some sense running myself, but calling it by a different name, such as journey, or career, or finding my dream?

How do you know if you are running from a painful reality? I think it comes down to how I view that reality. If I find the gem hidden in pain or loss, I will remember the occasion without bitterness or anger. If I don't, then I will remember it by the dark brush stroke of the one deed, and paint much of life with that same brush.

It's a scary thought. Or, it could be an awesome discovery.

Truthful eyes

When we think of seeking the truth, we are not just talking about a spiritual reality toward some concept. We are also speaking about finding the truth in our own lives, in our awareness of ourselves, in our ability to communicate honestly with another. That’s because any kind of meaningful relationship requires an honesty and forthrightness that challenges our personal conceptions, and calls us to seek the truth about ourselves and our frailty.

Robert Wicks in Seeds of Sensitivity writes it's not so easy for me to have such truthful eyes. I guess it isn't for anyone who wants to be an honest, vulnerable healer in concrete situations rather than a person of love in the abstract sense. Abstract love never involves risk or failure, just good wishes and a rich imagination. Still, love in the concrete often is not pretty but its results are wonderful if we are willing to take the chance to encounter ourselves honestly as we open ourselves to others in ways in which we are willing to follow through on our promises and commitments. (81)

According to Wicks (and life demonstrates this as well), our encounter with someone else can only be as deep and as meaningful as our willingness to encounter ourselves in truth. Our relationship with God is similar. We can only know him through truthful knowledge of ourselves.

Contemplative prayer

We want to know. Even in the spiritual life, we search because we want to understand more and better. Yet, the author of the Cloud of Unknowing would have us take a different stance. He says Become blind during contemplative prayer and cut yourself off from needing to know things.

Is this statement not confusing? Isn't contemplation supposed to open up knowledge through meditation? Are we not seeking to understand so we can see better? How is it that the author of the Cloud of Unknowing advises us to become blind?

We only need to read on to get the sense of his statement: Be content feeling moved in a delightful, loving way by something mysterious and unknown, leaving you focused entirely on God, with no other thought than of him alone. How often is our journey hampered because we want to plot our course intelligently, leaving little room for error. Instead, we should abandon our hearts to the feelings of delight found in contemplative prayer. For there are times when knowing does not enlighten.

The above statements draw us to give our desires to the Divine, so that we can rest and be refreshed. For it is the Divine that gives delight, that consoles, and that strengthens us on our journey.