Are you willing to look ungrateful?

Though it is easier to paddle with two, you can paddle alone...

Unless you hate father and mother, brother and sister, even your own life, you cannot be my disciple (Lk 14: 25). Such words of Jesus sound harsh, especially since it is Jesus himself who said we must love our enemies! As such, I think this phrase from Luke deserves some thought and a bit of pondering.

I think we can all remember a decision we struggled making because of those it might hurt. We knew what we should do. Yet, when we looked at how that decision might affect those around us, we stopped and hesitated. And sometimes we failed to move beyond that point.

I think this is what Jesus meant when he said the words we find in Luke 14. I don't believe Jesus is asking for us to turn on the people we owe gratitude. I think he is reminding us that the ultimate gratitude is to God, and that when anyone comes between us and God, we should remember these words.

I know how hard this can be. I stayed in a monastery for many years because I feared to disappoint. I feared to disappoint my fellow religious by leaving, I feared to disappoint my family by changing roles. I even feared disappointing my God by failing to keep promises made when I was very young. I thought such a decision would be disastrous for me.

It took wonderful mentors and a great deal of self-reflection before I realized what God had been trying to tell me all along. The signs were all there. I failed to see them because I was too fearful about how “others” would feel. It was only after I learned to "hate" my fears that I found the courage to act. And God did not disappoint.

I am sure I am not alone in this story. Every one of us have individuals we owe, people who sacrificed for us. Fearing to hurt them can immobilize our soul, keeping us from growing in grace and in God. Jesus would have us go forward, even if it means leaving them behind, even if it means they do not understand, even if it means looking ungrateful.

I think this is what Jesus is saying as recorded in Luke 14.