The Feast of Epiphany. I've always thought of it as journey, as light shining through the darkness, as revelation. And it is all of those things. But something else is on my mind this morning as I sit here and write.
It started a couple days ago, on January 1 to be exact. One friend had gone out of state to visit family. My other friend had flown back to Europe to return to her community. I was here alone, and feeling the loneliness keenly. I decided to go to the movies, researched the nearby theater, and chose Wild. It was about a young woman hiking the PCT, and the reviews were promising. I watched it and was enthralled. So enthralled that I bought the memoir by Cheryl Strayed so that I could read it in its entirety. I was not disappointed.
A couple passages from the memoir stood out to me, but one really impressed me. It was written after the writer had completed a great portion of her intended journey. She had faced bears, rattlesnakes, and snow. She had learned a great deal, as she writes "Perhaps by now I'd come far enough that I had the guts to be afraid." (pg. 229) What an awesome thought. Guts enough to be afraid.
It begs the question....am I gutsy enough be afraid? Or am I constantly trying to convince myself that I am not? Face fear and fear will go away I'd been told repeatedly at the monastery.
Maybe not all fear needs to be overcome. Perhaps some fear just needs to be accepted, because we are strong enough to carry it. Like the packpack Strayed carried over 1,000 miles.
Like the Magi who scripture says got lost as they traveled many miles from the East.
Like you going along on your journey of life.
Like me, still finding my way.
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