I was newly moved to a bigger monastery. I felt lost, lonely, and isolated. I said a little prayer, one that I did not really expect to be answered. I asked if I could just see a kitty, just hear one meow. A couple days later, the workman came to see me and said, "Look what I found!" and pulled a scrawny little kitten about 4 weeks old out of his coat pocket. "We found it in the leaves," he said. I could not believe my eyes. I was even more shocked when I was allowed to keep the little guy. I named him Buttons.
When it became clear that I needed to leave the monastery and the monastic way of life, I asked if I could keep Buttons. The answer was an overwhelming yes. I moved to live with my brother in Texas. Buttons was with me. When I moved back to Massachusetts, Buttons came too. He moved with me every time I found it necessary to relocate. I could not imagine life without him. He was always there when I came home, greeting me at the front door. I used to wonder how he knew when I had arrived. Then I just got used to having him there at the door when I unlocked it. He was better than a dog!
And Buttons was a smart cat. I tried endlessly to outsmart him, with very little success. He won 99% of the time. I accepted this, as this is what it means to be an owner of a cat. You have to accept their superiority!
On Monday Dec. 10, Buttons had come to the end of his road. I had to let him go...
When I got up this morning, I looked for Buttons, but he was not there. And then I remembered. I will continue to expect him to greet me at the door after a long day away...to come out to see what I'm doing when I am working in the living room, to keep my feet warm when I got to bed. I will continue to deal with this loss, which is very deep for me. And I will continue to thank God for answering my prayer...
For it was when I was lost and lonely that God gave me the gift of a forlorn ferral kitten. We were rigth for each other. And for 14 years, we made the greatest pair.Buttons, I will miss you always....
