No
matter how strong your faith, no matter how fervent your prayer, I think each
one of us knows the truth of these words: God neglects us. And I am just as
sure, we have all questioned it.
But
we are not the first to think these thoughts. The prophets before us, the
writer of the psalms, the mystics, even Jesus himself felt abandoned at one
time or another.
So how
do we deal with God's neglect?
First
of all, I have discovered that I have an urgency God does not seem to share. Despite
my continued plea, God lets me wait. As I wait, I realize that my urgency
usually stems from my desire to avoid all pain and anxiety. When I wait, I
discover my inner resources. These are times when I feel as though I am in the
desert of life, or in my own agony in the garden of Olives. And as I wonder
what happened to God in the story of my life, I have learned that trust and
spiritual strength are built not by prayers answered, but by silence to
prayers…a seeming neglect of God. In that silence, I am forced to find those
hidden inner resources.
I
readily admit it...I know I would never have found these treasures had my
prayers been answered in my own time frame.
The
lesson is not always remembered. I find the next time I feel neglected by God,
I have to stop and learn all over again. I need to remember it is not necessary to always understand what God is doing, or feel God’s presence. I need to remember
that strength is there, and I need not panic. I also need to remember that this
moment has powerful lessons for me. Most of all, I need to remember past “neglects”
of God, where I was actually drawn deeper into God’s Presence.
For
when I draw strength from within myself, I am actually drawing straight from
the Divine Being.
