Begin a new year...

I have a fascination with the concept of forgiveness, not as a bystander, but as one who actively works with Jesus' command to "forgive, and you will be forgiven" (Lk 6:37). I know no individual who has not been injured in some way. Injuries give us two choices, to remain angry and resentful, or to forgive

I, too, sometimes struggle with the concept of forgiveness. If God is a just God, should not someone pay for making us suffer? All the more when we are weak and vulnerable and are preyed upon by the powerful with authority. And yet, the precept to forgive is always there in front of me. Even when I think I have come to terms with those who have harmed me, I find that the forgiveness once proffered sometimes threatens to retreat. Anger is always waiting in the wings to take over.

As a counselor in training, I know the clinical benefits of forgiveness. Studies have proven that anger is destructive to one's own body, as it not only eats away at the heart and soul, it damages the mind, hardens the blood vessels, prevents tissue reproduction, weakens the immune system and wreaks havoc on one's emotional health.

In contrast, forgiveness offers better emotional health. It allows for physical healing, frees the spirit from the memory of the trauma or injury and allows it to grow past the incident. Forgiveness broadens the mind and lifts the spirit. Forgiveness tempers and matures an individual, brings him or her to a deeper understanding of human weakness. Forgiveness enlarges our soul, so that we are bigger than the incident, and we are not held back by it.

In a word, forgiveness is the stepping stone out of the cave of darkness and sorrow. Forgiveness is necessary for good emotional health. But I believe it cannot be done for purely health reasons. One must believe in something redemptive to be able to forgive. One must believe in a bigger plan, a redemptive power of God that brings good even out of evil. One must believe in a power that is above and beyond our imaginations.

And so I close these thoughts with words given to me many years ago, words meant to help me in my own struggle to forgive: For those who love God, all things work together for good (Romans 8:28).

Feeling the pain

The thought given during yesterday's service sparked my own musings...that we revert to victim-hood when we feel overwhelmed with life. Isaiah did it. So did Elisha. Job. David. Jeremiah. Even Jesus had his moment in the Garden. The kick to the gut is real, and it hurts. The secret, said the celebrant, is not to give in to the temptation. To realize I have strength to rise up and move forward.

That got me to thinking how strong we really are and don't realize. Because to be strong in pain is to feel that pain, and to become a victim is somehow to sooth it. I know about clutching the "victim-hood". Somehow it justifies my bad feelings. It lets me continue my pity-party. But it also keeps me down, stunted, and closed. I cannot learn the lessons I am meant to learn.

As dedicated Christians, as spiritual persons, we are called to be alive people, people who do not crumble under pain, people who rise above our fears. I can only do that if I believe in Romans 8:28, For those who love God, all things work together for good. It isn't a denial of pain. It isn't a superhuman attitude or ability to slough it off. It is the courage to feel the pain and learn the lesson.

I know this isn't easy. I am no different from the rest. I don't like pain. But I am learning the lessons pain has to teach, and I am realizing it often coincides with my "growth-spurt".  If I let it.