God is not hard to please

The longer I live, the more I meditate, the more I think that my past spirituality got so much of "it" wrong. I lived by the merit system, toiling my way toward paradise, fearing hell all the way. I felt heaven was hard to attain, and God hard to please.



And then life happened. My merit system did not bring me the peace and security that I sought. The neat answers did not answer. And I sought more. I came upon authors like Hans Urs von Balthasar, who challenged my concept and my understanding of spirituality. I learned that a challenged spirituality helps one find good, solid ground. Accepting that challenge, I also came to a different way of thinking.


Example: Von Balthasar writes that when Jesus came and died for us, it changed everything. In his words, God is not only with us, as in the Old Testament's "Emmanuel," but is ultimately "for us,"...now God is so completely on our side that any (juridical) indictment against us loses all its force. No one can accuse us before God's judgment seat, because the Son God sacrifice is such an irrefutable advocate that silences any human charge...

That doesn't sound like a God who is hard to please. 

So when I think of all the fear I've had in the past of not pleasing God, I have to wonder. I wonder if we as humans don't promote the concept of the merit system because it gives us some sense of control. I wonder if we do so because we want to be able to differentiate between those who qualify, and those who don't. We like to have a "club" where all the members abide by the rules or else are banned. 

But as I am learning, God does not operate like that. God does not keep a check list, counting our deeds and putting them on one side or the other. When God watches over us, it is to defend us, forgive us, and transform us. We are the ones who put up barriers, live by fear, let our faulty understanding halt God's love.

So I need to put fear aside. For God is not hard to please. Humans are. And God is not human, God is Divine.

In love unaware

Is it possible to fall in love with God and not realize it? Is it possible to spend your life wanting to love God, trying to love God, and not realize just how much you have come to authentically love God?

I think it is. And I think it shows in the most amazing ways.

I think you can love God deeply and not realize it, because you are so intent on how God loves you, how deep and profound and everlasting is that love, that you do not realize how deeply you love God in return. You have equated love for God with splendid deeds, or heroic gestures or profound thoughts. You felt the ideal unattainable, and so kept trying to love God just a tiny bit more. You did not realize that this tiny bit, built up day after day, brought you to mirror that Divine Love, so that you are caught up in the Fire, you are swept away with that indwelling.

And then something happens. It need not even be spiritual. But something happens that awakens your soul to the truth, I love God sooooo much!  It is an awesome realization. It is startling and heart warming and satisfying and exhilarating. Because it happened unawares. You were not thinking in terms of that, you were thinking in terms of service or devotion or reverence or respect. You were thinking of doing the right thing so that you could please this Almighty God. You were trying to live with God in mind, and think about God, and study about God. And God swept you up with Love, a Love you could never accomplish on your own, because it too is Divine.

That is my wish, my hope, my prayer for each one of us. That we will awaken in our souls and realize just how much we love God, deeply, passionately, and ardently.

It is a wonderful awakening!

Accepting imperfect love

Sunset in South Dakota

We all want to be loved. It is the strongest desire of the human heart. And we cannot live without it.

But we know, no matter how strong the love, all love is fallible. Perhaps that is why psalm 63 reminds us to Rest in God alone. It continues God only is my rock and salvation, my stronghold: I shall not be disturbed at all.

Psalm 63 reminds us that only one can give us unconditional, perfect love, God. All else will love us in a tangible but fallible way. I need to remember this. No matter how deeply I may love someone or they may love me, be it my soul-mate or a kindred spirit, that love will not fully satisfy. There will be bumps in the road.

If I am grounded in psalm 63, if I am aware that only God's love is perfect, then I will allow human love its human frailties. I will not expect what cannot be. And in accepting that, I will experience an even greater satisfaction when I am loved

And that is hardly a bad thing!

The imperfect gift

My imperfect gift from God

When we read theology about God and God-likenss, we read about perfection. In fact, we read terms like all knowing, all goodness, all perfection. So, if this is true, then why are God's gift's so all-flawed?

I come to this question thanks to my cat, Buttons. Again, he woke me up early, despite my attempts to close him out of the bedroom. My cat that came as an answer to prayer. My gift from God. 

Let me tell you about my gift. I had transferred to a new monastery and felt lonely and homesick. I prayed I would "see" a kitty. Instead, I found a little kitten abandoned by its mother, curled up in the leaves. He was maybe 4 weeks old. He was scrawny, tiny, and needed someone to care for him. I was allowed to keep him. My gift from God.

But Buttons is not the sweet, cuddly kitten I could wish for. As a feral cat, he retains his wild streak, which he unleashes when I least suspect or want it. He is fussy, picky about his food, easily upset if he doesn't get his way, and yes, likes to wake me up early, really early.

So I look at this "gift from God" and wonder, why did my gift have to be so imperfect? If God is so perfect, why can't God's gifts be perfect too?

And then I think, perhaps my concept is flawed. Perhaps my flawed thinking comes from the human experience.  Ever ask someone for help and have them take over? Like since you asked, somehow you are deficient, and they must do it themselves. Ask, and you will be controlled.

God is not like that. When you ask God for a gift, God does not take over. God does not treat you or me like we are so deficient that we cannot handle life. Instead, God gives us what is very fallible. Because God knows, we can handle it. We can take those gifts and figure it out. God does not need to take over in our lives and treat us as idiots. God has greater respect for us than that.

So, I look at Buttons and remember, we have been getting along for over 14 years. I love unlocking the apartment door, and finding him right there to greet me. I love it when he settles somewhere near me, just because he likes being there. I love it when he talks to me.

And so, when he wakes me in the early am, I must remember, I can handle it. Because God's gift, though not perfect, is right for me.

Love as pure gift

Just a small thought from Bernard Bro on Jesus and the power of love. Bro writes: Jesus loves as a pure gift, for the sake of nothing...He makes others better by loving them. Not only does he not accuse their mediocrity, although it is his full right to do so--he takes up their defense and gives his heart, his time, his trust.

I like to think of the lives I might change if I love thus. For love is like fuel that energizes those despondent, bruised, or wounded. And who of us cannot use a little more love?

Bro goes on to say: He [Jesus] calls forth, arouses, renews the best part in us, the part that is good and filled with hope and is always hidden in each and every person...and everyone who meets him once again begins to believe, to have trust in God and in themselves.

That in itself is an incentive to be charitable. To bring back faith in trust in someone's heart.

"I desire mercy, not sacrifice," we read in Hosea 6:6. Lent is a good time to remember our charity. Lent is a wonderful season to love.