A New Year's resolution that gives life

I will never forget the service I attended last year, and the priest asked how many in the congregation had made New Year's resolutions. Two of us raised our hands. He chuckled and said, "So you'll still doing that," as if we were to be pitied. I sat there and thought, what?

I've heard it before. "Well, I never keep my New Year's resolution, so I've stopped making them." To me, nothing is more pitiable than that kind of attitude. Well, almost nothing. Because such words and sentiments come from those who have given up. Why resolve? You'll only break that resolution. So don't bother.

I think what bothers me the most is the why bother attitude. How can I continue to make progress as a person if I don't bother? How can I increase my attention, deepen my spirit, become more aware of the Divine if I don't bother? My journey is a active choice being made over and over again. I cannot sit on the sidelines and expect my life to deepen by itself.

I wonder if such attitudes come because many resolutions are only "corrective". I believe such resolutions stem from a deeper, hidden, self-loathing. Why, when we think of making things better, is our first thought to attack our own self, to alter it in some drastic form, to bash it or humiliate it or reform it? It's no wonder we get tired and burnt out with such resolutions.

Resolutions should enhance our person, not destroy it. If we have bad habits, they often stem from deeper conflicts, conflicts that are better addressed through meditation, reflection, and acceptance. It's amazing how such practices can open up the heart and help us to love the very one we have most difficulty loving: ourselves.

I encourage you, if you've given up on resolutions, to attempt a spiritual one this year, one more accepting and gentle on your soul. And if you are making resolutions, I urge you to cast aside the ones that attack your person, and instead opt for something that feeds your soul. In all of this, remember the words from John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, so that we might not perish, but have eternal life.

We need resolutions that give life.