Dissatisfaction and Desire

We all have times in our lives when we are dissatisfied with how things are, and seek for something different, something better. Sometimes it is just a stage we are going through. But sometimes it is an invitation to rise higher.

In Bernard Bro's book Happy Those Who Believe, we read Consider Zacchaeus, who struggled against the prison of his conscious; Mary Magdalene and the Samaritan woman, who struggled against the prison of their heart...All sensed a call. They were in a state of dissatisfaction...we would never have dared to imagine these preparatory cries of the Old Testament when God said to Daniel: "I came to you because you were a man of desire." And in Jeremiah: "I will put them in anguish so that they may find me."

I think the key here may be desire. Life can weigh on us, it can flatten us down, it can take away the sparkles we once had in believing all things possible. We become matured, we know we won't get everything we dream about, we accept fate, or circumstances as though it is normal to get that flat tire and drive through life on the rim. But we shouldn't. We should keep the flame of desire alive. How?

It depends on our spiritual life, how active it is, how deep it has penetrated into our consciousness. Such a life will fan that desire to continue believing, continue hoping, continue dreaming through the reality. We will know life isn't about giving up these things; but in letting them mature and become more realistic.

One thing we must never forget: we are called. We have a mission, and in all the chaos, we will  discover it. So never settle for that flat tire. Change it, and continue on. Show the world that all things can conspire to increase  our longing, that our dissatisfaction itself signals there is more to be had, and we can have it. Then will dissatisfaction work in your favor; then will you bring out of chaos something of your dream.

Who is God for You?

In the old testament we hear of the great sin of idolatry, making gods out of stones or jewels or whatever fashion came in handy. Yet for all of us, the God we worship or adore is made out of our perceived concepts. It's all we can do. I think the real secret in finding God is that our perceived concepts come closer and closer to the reality. 

Who is God to you? How does that concept influence your life and more importantly, the way you live?  Those are the questions we need to ask ourselves. And this is the purpose of scripture-to give us glimpses of that God to inform our own image.

"I AM" God said to Moses. Meaning God is alive here and now. "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus asked his disciples. Meaning Jesus respects our notions of him even as he helps us come to a better understanding.

We need time to comprehend, to study Jesus, to learn the great I AM. That is why you cannot have a spiritual life without silence, prayer, meditation. That is why externals are only so useful, and internals are indispensable. That's why no matter how long we seek, we still have more to find.

Putting Faith to the Test

Believing. Often time when we say we believe, we mean rather that we have been convinced of a truth. It is the convincing that requires time, reflection, meditation, experience. To believe simply by word of month does not produce a believer, but someone unconvinced who accepts things on another's word.

Much of our lack of faith these days stem from this second type of belief. Those who fall by the side of faith, who "give it up" never really had it to begin with. They carried it like a lifesaver in their pocket, used it only when they felt they had a need, and found it got stale and old quickly. So they moved on.

To have faith means to take a truth and pound out of it everything that seems crass. It means to challenge, to put to the test, to argue with it until you are so sure of what you believe nothing can shake you. To do this, you have to study, to ponder, to really immerse yourself and put yourself out. If you are slow to believe, then when you do accept some form of faith, you will be the stronger one. Because you haven't taken it on someone else's words. You have taken it and made it your own.

Let me See Beyond

Sight, in spirituality, consist of the ability to see beyond "the veil" of temporality. Unlike normal eyesight, this gift must be cultivated. It is this cultivation we term "seeking perfection." In the spiritual journey, we are not seeking some sort of state that defies human existence; rather, we are attempting to live in an awareness of the spirit that moves both within us and around us.

In his book The Naked Now, Richard Rohr writers You can be ignorant of your birthright. You can neglect the gift, and thus not enjoy its wonderful fruits....That seems to be the case with many people...who do not know who they are and whose they are, people who have no connection to their inherent dignity and importance.

I think the striking words here are dignity and importance.  We don't even know ourselves if we remain in spiritual blindness. It's no wonder externals mean so much to our society, to our kids, to us. We don't know our own dignity and importance, we don't realize the power of God within us, we don't sense the all abiding presence there for the taking, and always ready to make sense of our lives.

To find light is to take time with that which is spiritual; to sit with silence and let it wrap its arms around you, to hear the inspirations of God in the stillness and darkness of your own soul. When you see, you do not so much begin to imagine spiritual realities as to make sense of the burdens in  life. You began to look beyond the events and believe in destiny. You pierce the veil and know you are never alone. You realize that the temporal is not the abiding reality; there is a spiritual dimension to give it direction, meaning and purpose.

Turning Around to See

The gift of God. It is a strange phenomenon in the spiritual life that we often have to have a gift before we can desire it. Or perhaps more correctly, we do not realize we have a gift until our eyes are opened and we see. Richard Rohr says in The Naked Now  that Only people who have undergone some level of conversion can be told they have the Holy Spirit and be prepared to understand what one is talking about.

There we are, at that pivotal point called conversion. The ancients called it metanoia and they knew it was an action carried out daily in life, not just a one time event. In our lives, we are constantly coming upon that "Oh yea" moment, when we suddenly see something in a different light. The same is part of the spiritual journey.

Perhaps we need metanoia because the spiritual is so elusive and intangible, but certainly because we need to train our thinking to spiritual ways. Metanoia is not so much a "conversion" as a "turning around, facing a different direction, a change of attitude." Even in the material world one knows the need for continued growth, to learn new things, to look at life in a better light. The same goes for the spiritual. We "turn" every time we seek. We "face" every time we find that spirit of God within. And then, we can truly "gaze" upon the Divine, knowing that the gaze itself is cleansing, enlightening, uplifting.

Cherishing the Past

A tunnel used during the Civil War to assist runaways from the South. A monument to history, lost because when it began to crumble, those who do not give history much thought simple filled it in. And now it is no more. This tunnel was at the foothill of my childhood home.

We do not savor what we do not cherish. History can only be savored by remembrance. The past can only be celebrated by remembrance. In our lives, we will work to preserve that which we savor.

When I look at this picture, I wish my towns folk had had a little more respect for the past. Then they would have preserved this little treasure instead of blotting it out forever.

The Soul in Search of Destiny

James Stafford says that  The greatest and noblest joy in life for a human heart is searching out, discovering and pursuing the purpose for which God has called her into existence. In other words, one's destiny.

For these words to apply to one's life,  one must always be in the mode of searching and seeking that calling. This is counter to our present day culture (indeed, all culture) which prefers security, roots, familiarity.  Do we not look with skepticism at someone who changes careers or moves to another location because "I  haven't found my place"? Is there not a tendency to think, "Just can't get settled. Restless soul. Has no roots. Must have lost heart."?

And yet, this soul is braver than the norm. This soul is one who doesn't just talk about destiny; she does all she can to find it in her life. And she won't be kept back by honors, power, or fame. She seeks to be where destiny wants her, and she will not rest until she finds it.

There is a difference between a soul who is searching out and discovering her purpose in life, and one who is just plain discontented. That one word is peace.

If you just cannot settle in life, you will wander endlessly. But if your inability to settle comes from something deep down, where you know you are not yet where you need to be, there will be a profound peace, despite the unsettled nature of your being.You will not move impetuously, but reflectively, watching for the right door to open, and able to move on when it doesn't. You also know, only you can discern what is right for you. Others may advise; but that is all they can do. You have to live out your decision, for only you know the depths of your heart, and though you are not adverse to criticism, you are not living according to what others think you should do. (Many times when people are not courageous enough to follow their own dream, they distract themselves by advising others!)

That's because one needs courage, faith, and trust to seek out one's destiny in this life. These are hardly the traits of a restless, discontented soul. To never stop seeking requires immense bravery; to step away from security to continue the search requires tremendous energy; and to refuse to settle for a mediocre life requires constant faith and love.

So, if you are one of these souls, be prepared to be labeled. In a society that rewards those content with status quo, praises those who remain in a secure setting, and looks with suspicion on visionaries, you will stand out. But don't you lose heart. When you find the love of your life, your destiny, you will experience a joy that none can take from you.