Weeding out

It came from an article in Writer's Digest by Elizabeth Sims. It said  Let's face it: We writers tend to be rule-followers. We were the kids who turned in our papers on time, played the clarinet in the marching band....As adults we drive defensively, wear sunscreen and consult experts before making big decisions. We don't crash weddings or argue over the contents of our carry-ons in the airport security line. We weed out risk.

The line caught me because, I find it to be true. And I think this applies to our spiritual lives as well. We want God to remove all the uneasiness and risks in our lives.  We want spirituality to be safe.

Instead, God sends us inspirations that invite us to risk. God, it seems, dares us to believe, to act, to step out.

In class yesterday, we spoke of the importance of spirituality in our work as counselors. Our instructor asked us what our fears were. As we gave numerous examples, she summed it up with, "In other words, you are afraid to risk."  So true. So on the mark.

I am taking stock of my risk taking today, because I do not want to weed it out. I want to weed out fear, and hesitancy, and timidity. I want to step out in faith and know, my faith is about a God big enough to care for me. My God invites me to risk.

Only love can cast out fear

In John 4:18 we read There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.

It is interesting that this reading does not say perfection or uprightness is the antidote to fear, but only love.

And yet, if we read the gospels, it would seem the opposite is true: that giving one's life to Jesus spells disaster. Think of the stories we read: The Magi were content people until they met Jesus. Then they had to flee for their lives for fear of Herod. Mary and Joseph seem quite normal people until Jesus comes along. Then they too have to fee into Egypt because of the threat of death. Even in our own lives, how many times has a commitment to Christ caused us more trials than we would undergo otherwise?

But doesn't this show us that in our lives, giving ourselves over to Jesus does not mean some superficial happiness, but a deepening of our spiritual lives? Does not such a commitment demand stripping off all that is false and shallow so that we can be more authentic?

And what we find is something new, something hidden, something we would not have seen had we not made this step. This is how we go beyond fear...we leave off the empty show and stand tall in our own truth. We strip off the false, and stand naked just as we are. And it is love that gives us the courage to do this fearful thing.

Carlos Ezpiroz Costa writes in contemplation we see in light what others can not see. Jesus brings always-Light. Our first real glimpse of ourselves is quite frightening-and we will suffer shock until we come to accept our own reality. This is why it is important to remember that God has already loved us, in full knowledge of our true selves, long before we know it ourselves.

Olivier Clement writes Then we discover the basic truth about ourselves, that we are loved, and it is because we are loved that we exist. Love casts out fear. It gives us strength. It makes us courageous. It opens the door into a new life.

Beyond Fear

Gregory the Great could be called the Doctor of Desire, says Jean Leclerq. He says The importance given to desire confers on St. Gregory's doctrine an extremely dynamic quality. It is concerned with constant progress, for desire, as it becomes the more intense, is rewarded by a certain possession of God which increases it still more. The result of this desire is peace rediscovered in God, since desire is itself a possession in which fear and love are reconciled.

I find Leclerq's statement rather bland. I would like to put fire under it and proclaim, its all about desire! God cannot be possessed without it, nor fear vanquished, or struggle overcome. The phrase that we obtain a "certain possession of God", bothers me, because it makes God seem almost beyond our reach. And I'm not so sure fear and love can be reconciled. I'm more of the mind that love cast out fear; that fear can be overcome, that we can move beyond fear into a loving trust through a habitual response of trust. What we often lack is patience with ourselves, patience with the process, patience with the imperfections. It's as though we expect never to fail, and then berate ourselves because, what? we're human? God forbid!

God isn't unapproachable. He doesn't reign somewhere high above us, so that we must struggle to find even a "certain possession" of him. Time and time again scripture and scholars and mystics tell us: he is in the depths of our hearts. He waits patiently for us to find him there. And only desire can bring us.

Hazards of Fear

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out all fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love. (Jn 4:18) 

I know the power of fear – and the emotions it stirs – insecurities -- inability to accept oneself – lack of courage – trust – foresight. So when I read from Olivier Clément’s book “On Being Human”  Then we discover the basic truth about ourselves, that we are loved, and it is because we are loved that we exist I know the solution. The solution is knowledge of God's love. But solutions are not always easy to implement.

Fear paralyzes. It blinds and binds us. And it seems to harden as well, for when we fear, we find it hard to believe, especially in a Divine Love.

So there has to be something deeper than knowledge of God's love. We have to have come to believe strongly in it, and the underlying goodness that brings us to trust even when it seems all have deserted or betrayed. There has to be that abode within oneself where one can hide when necessary while one works out the fear and all the emotions it brings. And hopefully, there is a good friend somewhere, just one, who understands, and whose very presence brings support and comfort.

Love under Trial

Gregory the Great could be called the Doctor of Desire, says Jean Leclerq. He says The importance given to desire confers on St. Gregory's doctrine an extremely dynamic quality. It is concerned with constant progress, for desire, as it becomes the more intense, is rewarded by a certain possession of God which increases it still more. The result of this desire is peace rediscovered in God, since desire is itself a possession in which fear and love are reconciled.

Fear and love reconciled. That thought deserves our attention and consideration. We've heard that love cast out fear. But Leclerq is telling us more...that one can fear, but through love, turn that fear into energy that seeks God all the more. Desire, such a passive act, can propell the soul to great things. Either way, fear and love live within us. Gregory shows us the way to make them more useful.

Quies in labore, fatigatio in requie