Ever
notice how we tend to seek our security outside of ourselves instead of within,
where the real strength lies? Perhaps if we re-read psalm 23, the psalm of the
Good Shepherd, we would challenge our search. It reads: "Even though I walk in
the valley of darkness, I fear no evil, for you are with me.”
Not
to fear in darkness, now that is a test of faith. I think sometimes that test
is asking us, how much do I believe in myself? How strongly do I believe in
God's presence? How much do I seek within instead of without?
I
am lucky that I grew up with parents who trusted me. They used to ask me to do
things I didn't think I could do. Only in looking back do I realize, they were
challenging my own opinion of myself.
Perhaps
this is the meaning of walking in the valley of
darkness and not fearing evil. It is God's way of saying, you have greater
strengths than you know, you are stronger than you realize. You have a David
inside of yourself that can overtake any Goliath. You just need to reach down
for those pebbles of faith and trust.
Psalm
23 has long puzzled me for its seeming contradictions. "I shall not
want" along side "I fear no evil". I did not find either true
for me for a long time. I did want, and I did fear the darkness. But maybe they are not meant to be
oppositional. Maybe such lines are complimentary. Maybe it is the darkness that
teaches me not to want, because it teaches me that what I most need is
not out there somewhere. It is right here inside of me. It has been here all
along. I just looked for peace and security in the wrong places.
