Unwrap the Bindings

I have noticed that spiritual people can have a tendency to over spiritualize everything in life, as though somehow every act came straight from the hand of God. I am not speaking of those who see the hand of God in events, but rather to those who exclude the human element of life, the human struggle, the human dimension. And when we do that, we forget the human effort needed to rise above human tendency.

Easter is just one sort of event. Christians all believe that Jesus rose from the dead, a day glorious and offering profound hope of immortality. What we often forget is, Jesus too, as a human being, had a choice. Jesus rose because he could follow through with his calling, he could let go of the past and move forward to his destiny, he could unwrap the bindings that held him and step forth into the light.

Think for a moment of what might have happened had Jesus held on to the pain and suffering he endured. What if Jesus could not let go of his suffering and humiliation? What if he had gotten "stuck" in the memory of what had happened and could not move past that?

It is unimaginable to think of Jesus stuck in death. And yet, that is how I sometimes live; stuck in a bad memory, in anger and resentment. Stuck in my bad luck, bad choices, unfortunate incidents.

What good is it to believe in resurrection, in eternal life, if I cannot rise above events here on earth? What good is it to hope for heaven when I live life as though in a tomb? For when I am stuck, I cannot hear the call to come forth. I am, spiritually stuck in death.

Jesus showed us the power of letting go when he stepped out of the tomb and into the light. He showed us the power of dropping our bindings and moving our sealed stone that keeps us imprisoned. He opened the sealed compartment of his tomb not by force, but by grace. Such is the power of letting go.

Jesus invites me to do the same. Easter is a reminder that eternal life starts here on earth, that rising begins with daily events, that each of us has a tomb requiring resurrection. Easter is a symbol for each one of us to come forth from the tomb of disappointments, disillusionment, judgements and resentments. I am called to live a resurrected life, to unwrap whatever binds me and holds me prisoner. I am called to grace, a grace that can perform powerful acts of God within my life, if I let go.

Let us each live resurrected, here and now, so that we witness to the power of believing.

A new way to celebrate Holy Week

Holy Week. A week of remembering, of solemn ceremonies, and of reflection and silence.

Only, not for me. Not this year.

Having lived the heavily ceremonied days of Holy Week in the monastery, I find it hard to think of these sacred days spent without being in church as one reflects and engages in the lessons and silence of services.

But I could not. My profession as a therapist on the road meant I was traveling both Holy Thursday and Good Friday. All day.

On Holy Thursday I thought: Well, if a client cancels, I'll take that hour to stop by a local church and spend the time in quiet prayer.

No one canceled.

So as I drove from home to home, and as I sat with client after client, I thought of the service at my church. I thought especially of the custom they have of the washing of the feet. It is done in silence, with the organ playing something appropriate, with everyone encouraged to come up and have their feet washed. I was moved the first time I went there because in the monastery, we all got our feet washed by the prioress. I had never seen it done in the local church. I was thrilled to be able to participate.

As I sat there with clients with this memory in the back of my mind, I yearned to be in a different place, in the church, getting my feet washed, smelling the incense, hearing the bells, seeing the candles.

And then I thought, but I am "washing feet" by listening to one client after another, offering the towel of empathy and compassion. That thought sustained me as I drove from house to house, missing the "ceremonies" of that day and instead living it out in real life.

On Good Friday, I had to schedule in two more clients, giving me ten total. It would be a long day.

I had been nourished on Thursday by being mindful, so I maintained the attitude of service,  and let my work with clients be my Stations of the Cross, my remembrance of the Passion, and my silent reflection.

I sat with a mom who had lost her son. She was struggling. As I sat next to her, her tears flowing, I was reminded of Mother Mary standing at the foot of the cross as she gave Jesus back to the Father. I was reminded of how we all have our piece of the Passion.

I am going to the Holy Vigil service. I will be in a church, enjoying the sight of the new fire, listening to the singing of the chant, smelling the incense and enjoying the services wholly. I will be enjoying age old traditions and ceremonies as I join in the celebration of the Easter mystery.

But I know now, I can celebrate these things, even if I am not in the church. I can celebrate it by my own awareness. I can celebrate it as I remember.

Good Friday Way of the Cross

Good Friday. A time for reflection. A powerful thought comes from what is termed by some as "The Way of the Cross" meaning Jesus walk from Jerusalem to the Mount of Calvery.

When I stop to reflect, I can see that I too have my own "Way of the Cross" journey. It comes when I find that my path, similar to a walk in the woods, gets muddy, and I get my feet dirty. It is when I find I cannot see the sun, or when the beauty around me ceases to amaze and I find myself pretty much alone.

I cannot image anyone who hasn't felt these emotions at some point on their spiritual journey. I believe the secret for weathering such times comes from remembering the truths that I  held when things were good. If I believe in something and it is true, going through a "muddy feet" period in my life does not make that truth any less real. It is during these times of less sun and less amazement that I have a chance to examine not just what I believe, but why. And sometimes the why is more revealing than I like to admit.

Do I believe because I love? Or do I believe because I fear hell, or damnation, or whatever happens to bad people? Is my trust in God just hope for security, that nothing bad will happen, or do I trust "even though I should walk in the valley of death"? Do I practice spirituality to feel good? Or do I believe because I have discovered?

All of these questions become clear during times of "muddy feet". Because, if my spirituality is for myself, then I will abandon it in times of stress and doubt and pain. But if I am in it for the Other, namely, for the Divine Being I do not yet know, then I will continue my walk, because I will know this too is part of the journey. All paths have mud puddles in them. And my spiritual walk is no different.

This is the "Way of the Cross": my walk that continues despite struggle.

Life is not a tragedy

Life is not a tragedy, writes L Giussani. Tragedy is what makes everything amount to nothing. Yes, life is a drama. It is dramatic because it is the relationship between our I and the You of God, our I that must follow the steps which God indicates. (343)

If only we could remember that when we have thoughts of defeat, worthlessness, and loss; when we feel that what I am going through, my disappointments, my discouragement, my failures makes life amount to nothing.

No better reflection could prepare us for Holy Week. Who, more than anyone, could have thought this way? Jesus. Three years of training his disciples, and they run when he needs them most. Three years of drawing unimaginable crowds, and they turn on him in his time of need. All the preparation, all the prophecies about Jesus and his destiny come to naught. And Jesus prays, "Father, remove this cup from me!" 

But God did not. And Jesus had to experience defeat, betrayal, isolation, public humiliation and death.

And we celebrate this week with great ceremony. Why? Because life is not a tragedy. For Jesus, all the trials of this week did not make him forget the relationship between our I and the You of God. It is Jesus going through the suffering of Holy Week that teaches us the value to be found in such things.

Tragedy is what makes everything amount to nothing. Let me not think in those terms. Let me rather believe I have something more, that defeat is only defeat if I forget the I and the You of God.