A new way to celebrate Holy Week

Holy Week. A week of remembering, of solemn ceremonies, and of reflection and silence.

Only, not for me. Not this year.

Having lived the heavily ceremonied days of Holy Week in the monastery, I find it hard to think of these sacred days spent without being in church as one reflects and engages in the lessons and silence of services.

But I could not. My profession as a therapist on the road meant I was traveling both Holy Thursday and Good Friday. All day.

On Holy Thursday I thought: Well, if a client cancels, I'll take that hour to stop by a local church and spend the time in quiet prayer.

No one canceled.

So as I drove from home to home, and as I sat with client after client, I thought of the service at my church. I thought especially of the custom they have of the washing of the feet. It is done in silence, with the organ playing something appropriate, with everyone encouraged to come up and have their feet washed. I was moved the first time I went there because in the monastery, we all got our feet washed by the prioress. I had never seen it done in the local church. I was thrilled to be able to participate.

As I sat there with clients with this memory in the back of my mind, I yearned to be in a different place, in the church, getting my feet washed, smelling the incense, hearing the bells, seeing the candles.

And then I thought, but I am "washing feet" by listening to one client after another, offering the towel of empathy and compassion. That thought sustained me as I drove from house to house, missing the "ceremonies" of that day and instead living it out in real life.

On Good Friday, I had to schedule in two more clients, giving me ten total. It would be a long day.

I had been nourished on Thursday by being mindful, so I maintained the attitude of service,  and let my work with clients be my Stations of the Cross, my remembrance of the Passion, and my silent reflection.

I sat with a mom who had lost her son. She was struggling. As I sat next to her, her tears flowing, I was reminded of Mother Mary standing at the foot of the cross as she gave Jesus back to the Father. I was reminded of how we all have our piece of the Passion.

I am going to the Holy Vigil service. I will be in a church, enjoying the sight of the new fire, listening to the singing of the chant, smelling the incense and enjoying the services wholly. I will be enjoying age old traditions and ceremonies as I join in the celebration of the Easter mystery.

But I know now, I can celebrate these things, even if I am not in the church. I can celebrate it by my own awareness. I can celebrate it as I remember.