What is Involved in Saying Yes

Recently a discussion came up about the "yes" of  a commitment. The person who mentioned this said that often, when a commitment is first made, the "yes" is strong. But it becomes weaker with time, and after some years, the yes may become feeble and fade away.

I replied that perhaps that comes when the "yes" is directed to some finite thing, some person or institute. When the "yes" is said to a person, say in marriage, or even to the church in vows, as time goes on, that person or institute change. And of course, the "yes" may fade away, because the "yes" was intended for one thing, and something else has taken its place. That's why a spouse in an abusive relationship finds it hard to leave that relationship. She or he had made a promise, and to leave would break that promise.

But all promises should be directed to God, so that the "yes" is promise to live according to his inspirations and directions. Such a "yes" allows one to move on when necessary, because the person has not promised to live forever bound to another person or institute, but to follow the Gospel and the inspirations of the Spirit. The moving on isn't a lessening of the "yes" - it is actually the "yes" becoming stronger and more firm.

If such were the subject of our promises, we would feel the freedom Augustine speaks of, freedom in the liberty of Divine Grace. And our journey would flow more from divine inspiration than from social constructs. And when something falls out in our life, instead of looking at it as some kind of moral failure, we would instead spend our energies trying to discern what God is saying to us in this instance.

Such an attitude makes all the difference in a life lived for God.