Pentecost Sunday In the Monastery

The Spirit of the Lord fills the whole world! we read in Wisdom 1:7. Pentecost is the fulfillment of that statement, the culmination of the old, the completion of all things that had been promised. And yet, it was also the beginning of something new, something different, something never before known.

This movement mirrors the rhythm of life: complete some stage; begin another. To benefit from stages, we must learn to let go, and that can sometimes be hard.

I find it right now, as I take time to pray and reflect at the monastery I once lived in as a member. As I look around, I see so much that is the same. But there are things that have changed as well. The tool room is full of cobwebs, most of the tools missing, and those that remain are pretty useless. The green house has no plants. The gardens are smaller, modest, in keeping with the diminished membership of the monastery. Worst of all, the monastery members themselves have gotten older, many of my friends have passed on, and those who remain hobble around, unable to do the activities they once so enjoyed. I find myself longing for the past, for things to have stayed just as there were, for things not to change.

And that would be wrong. Because that would be death.

And so, as I slip into the chapel to pray Vespers with the nuns, I think about how the spirit is about life, about movement. It is the spirit that creates from chaos and finds light in dark places. It is the spirit that reveals what new things are concealed in endings. And it is the spirit that moves us forward, especially when we want to remain looking back, at what once was, at what once was new.

Discovery on the journey

To journey is to discover. We discover by entering ever more deeply into the world of the spirit, the world of the unseen, the unknown, the hidden. As we enter there, we become different people, and we learn to walk the path of life with different attitudes and eyes. This is how one advances in the spiritual life.

Some writers of spirituality speak of this journey as though we were climbing a ladder. Each rung represents a different stage, a higher one. But this view of the spiritual life tends to stigmatize. Stages means some are higher and some are at the bottom. And we all know how Jesus felt about that.

The spiritual life is different. Though there is a gradual development, a learning curve, it is more of an awakening to presence. We desire and search, and gradually the mist burns away because a fire has been lit from within. We are not so much ascending to a higher level as we are deepening our understanding of things we've always had, but not appreciated. So our vision becomes a bit clearer and our understanding broader. We find we continue with the same practices, we just understand them differently. 

According to the Abbas and Ammas of the desert, the journey is all about transformation. In some sense, we remain always beginners, because we awaken continually to new understandings and visions. It involves finding that "new" element in our spirituality, that bit of heaven tucked into our heart and soul, a new understanding that is given to us alone, one we can share with others or keep to ourselves.

So put aside those books that would assign steps to your journey. Seek newness of life in each day, the knowledge to see what you already have in a better light. If you do, you will understand the words of Revelation: "Behold, I make all things new" (21:4).