Remembering gifts

Friends. We all have them. But sometimes we do not realize just how many we have or how far they are wiling to go for us until we get into some kind of fix, and they come to our rescue.

This past week, I got myself into such a fix. Sure enough, friends from afar went above and beyond to take care of the situation for me. And I sat there and thought, I am so blessed.

The situation made me think about my forgotten gifts. Such as friends.  Especially friends that I do not see on a regular basis, but who are there for me none-the-less.

I think God is a forgotten gift. Like my friends, God is there for me regardless of my awareness. But often, it takes a need, a pain, or a struggle before I stop to think of the Divine Being. And unlike some of my friends, God is not far away.

It is good to remember: God is closer to me than I am to myself. It is up to me to remember...

The greatest gift

As I remember the past year, of the times of joy, the times of fear and stress, the times of success and confusion, I think of what a wonderful thing it is to have a friend who understands, listens, reaches out, and cares.

 In life, we can bear almost anything if we have a friend close at hand. For some reason, having at least one person to listen to us and care makes a difference. It doesn't take away any pain or lessen any sorrow. But in the great scheme of things, just having one person can make the difference between keeping faith and losing it.

As I listen to the many wonderful and beautiful Christmas carols, I think that maybe when Jesus came, he did not so much want us to see him as savior as he wanted us to see him as friend. If we think of him only as Savoir, we keep ourselves at a distance, and look at him as someone superior and above us, as John the Baptist did when he said, "I am not worthy to unloose his sandal strap." But if Jesus wanted us to see him only as Lord and Savior, would he have come this way, a small, helpless child? Who fears a child? Better yet, who feels inferior to a child? Does not a child draw us near, inviting us to view vulnerability in its purest form?

I believe that to be true Christians, we are to imitate Jesus as friend. We are to offer encouragement, to be the ear to listen and the heart to receive. I think back to the sermon given on the occasion of the young man lost in a tragic car accident. I had problems not only with the message, but with the voice conveying it, because I could not feel any empathy. The voice told the family how they should feel and how they would receive comfort. But I could not detect compassion.

When you go over your list of gifts, do not forget the best one you already give. Do not forget that for a friend, just the fact that you care, that you listen, that you receive without judgement and listen without giving answers, that is the biggest and best gift.  And no material gift can match it.

Build a Relation with the Flawless

Painting by Sr. Mary Grace Thul, OP

We all need a good friend, someone we can pour out our souls without fear of criticism or rebuttal. We all appreciate a love that does not judge us, but helps us deal with the situations of life as they arise. Yet, we will never find the "perfect" friend, one who will always understand, always encourage, and never fail us. Only the Divine can fill that role.

The Jerusalem Community Rule of Life states: Let your soul be filled day and night with this loving presence of the Lord, and you will live. Strong in the joy of this divinity within you and the power of his love, you will never falter.'

The message here is  not "don't trust your friends" but "no matter how good your friends, you still need the enduring love of the Divine." Face it. We all have moments when we feel let down or even betrayed by our closest allies. We must not then turn from them, but turn to the Divine who will help us through rough waters. We cannot expect a human to perform flawlessly. We need to nurture our friendships, to work to make  them grow, to understand the rough times and forgive the misunderstandings. We can only do that if we already have a close relationship with someone flawless, the Divine, who helps us through storms and disappointments.

If we build that relationship within, we will better understand the relationships without. We will not expect others to be the ONE, and we will not judge them on one or two actions that they eventually regret. And strange enough, we will become a better friend ourselves.