God yearns to be asked!

Bernard Bro writes:

It is not we who wait for God, and draw God's attention, but it is God who awaits us. It is not we who are anxious to see God realize our desires, but it is God who wishes to enter into our plans, and to invest us with God's own strength. And in prayer it is God who anticipates us, giving us an opportunity to work for and with God, in the absolute certainty of success.

This is the first response of God, the secret of our hope, and what should be the foundation of our certitude.

In this connection, it seems that too often we believe that the essential element in hope is the desire to possess happiness and to possess God. Yet the essential role of hope is not primarily the desire for beatitude, but the assurance that God comes to our aid.

These words carry a profound truth...we want God to be here for us. Heaven is fine, but heaven is gained only after death.

I need God right here and now. And that is hope.

Even more, God waits for us. God wants to enter our plans. God yearns to be asked.

As monastics say at the beginning of liturgy, "Oh God, come to my assistance, O Lord, come to my aid."

May God be with us today and come to our aid.

Disappointed in God

It was just one line in a sermon, but it hit hard. "One way to never be disappointed in life is to expect little."

I wonder how many of us have been disappointed in God. I wonder how many of us then hope for less, because it is safer.

I'll say it: God doesn't treat me the way I think God should. God doesn't treat me the way I would treat me if I were God.

I, too, struggle not to let my disappointments keep my hopes and expectations low. I read in scripture: For who among us knows what pertains to a person except the spirit of the person that is within? Similarly, no one knows what pertains to God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit that is from God, so that we may understand the things freely given to us by God (1 Cor. 2:11-12).

I have come to believe that part of dreaming big is accepting the raw fact that I do not understand the spirit of God. And when I hope for great things, I constantly remind myself I need to accept my limitations in understanding.

For it has happened that when God disappointed, I shut down and expected less. I have slowly worked on examining my understanding. I find I often have the spirit of the world that wants signs and wonders; I need to move into the spirit that is in God, which sees things the world cannot see.

For only when I enter into that Spirit, will I begin to understand the things freely given to me by God. I will see my disappointments and not let them make me expect any less.

The trouble with images

Disillusionment. It is a favorite topic of mine. Partly because I see it in the Gospels. Take the Gospel of Mark 10: 35-45, where James and John request to sit on Jesus left and right hand in the kingdom, and Jesus tells them they know not what they are asking. They find what makes them worthy is not what they think. This topic is often in scripture.

I have also learned about disillusionment from my own journey, from how I have discovered things in life, things I had no clue were happening deep inside of me, until something or someone touched me deep down where I knew not, and I found there a seat of emotion and pain.

Disillusionment rocks our boat and threatens our safety. It has to. For disillusionment tells us our image of life and of God are not quite accurate. I think how we handle disillusionment determines whether it becomes a period of growth or a period of darkness that defeats.

I have an image of God within my own mind, and that God is supposed to be loving and kind. Yet, sometimes the pain I suffer in life makes me question that. 

I found great comfort in the words of Revelation 21:3-4: I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, God's dwelling is with humankind. He will dwell with them and they will be God's people and God will always be with them as their God. God will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away."

These words tell me that God knows my tears. Not only does God know them, but the words imply that God will wipe every tear from my eyes. I find comfort from this verse, as it reminds me that my suffering shall not be forgotten. Somehow, in God's plan of things, it shall count for something. God did not save me from suffering. But God will turn that suffering into something better.

I continue to experience disillusionment along my journey. I hold on to the hope that each time I experience disillusionment, it will not be a defeat, but rather a peeling away of the layers of my ignorance.

For disillusionment can be God's way of teaching me. I can learn only if I let go of Whom I want my God to be and accept Who God really is. I can take disillusionment not as my stumbling block, but as another door opening to a deeper understanding. I can. It just takes time and patience.

Going the Second Mile

I find some of the gospel quotes are hard sayings. In Matthew 5:41 we read: Should anyone press you into service for one mile, go with him for two miles. I feel that this advice allows others to take advantage of me. Am I to allow it?

But I think my view misses the point. I think the Gospel story intends to challenge me to look at my giving, and see what prompts it.

I recently experienced the receiving end. Someone reached out to me gratuitously. The thoughtful and unexpected gesture moved me deeply. As I struggled to voice my "thank you" the person simply said, "All I ask is that when you can, pass it on."

Maybe that is what Jesus is saying. Maybe all Jesus wants from us is to not forget to hand on what has been shared with us. Maybe going the second mile means, you were forced into the first. Let the second be your own good will. Let the second be willing. Let the second be handing on.

I know for too long I felt I did not have enough to hand on. I wanted to wait until I had excess. Then, I felt, I could give. But meditating on this gospel verse, I realized I was wrong. In a sense, by waiting, every time I did give, it was forced. Now, I want to give freely, without waiting for my “excess.”  

For what does it mean when I wait for excess but that I think of giving as something outside of myself, like the scraps I have left over that I can then offer to beggars. Maybe the second mile means, giving is not a matter of excess. It is a matter of reaching down inside of myself and giving from that inner resource. It is giving the way we do with loved ones, from the heart, from our inner selves. And if I have to be forced to realize that, do not stop there. Go the second mile.

My Garden of Eden

I love to ponder the story of the Garden of Eden as it is written in Genesis. Recently I had some new thoughts. As I was pondering the story of Adam and Eve, it occurred to me that their problem was not so much eating the forbidden fruit, but in thinking that that fruit would make them like God. If you read Chapter two carefully, you see that the tree is called "the tree of the knowledge of good and evil" (2:17). It is as if the author is trying to tell us that knowing good and evil does not equate becoming godly or God-like.

That sentence makes me ponder. Scripture says, God walked with them in the cool of the evening. They saw God, they talked to God, they got to know God. Then how could they possible think that by eating a piece of fruit they would suddenly be like God? With all of their gifts, they still could not see. It seems that with all their blessings, Adam and Eve did not know where to look for growth. They thought it would come from something transitory, something temporary, something outside of themselves.

Perhaps that is why God removed them from the garden. Not having the beauty or comforts of Eden, their search had to turn inward. They had to realize that growth starts, not in something outside of themselves, but within their own hearts, with pondering and reflection.

It is a lesson for you and me. Perhaps we too seek our spirituality or our faith in the things that are external. Perhaps we are deceived into thinking God is in the fruit of success and the taste of accomplishment. And perhaps the difficulties we encounter in life are meant to assist us, so that we  retreat from searching outside of ourselves, and turn our search inward.

That brings me to the real question, what was the Garden of Eden? Was it really some beautiful place of long ago, closed to us forever? Or is it still here, a hidden place we can and must discover for ourselves? I think it is the latter. And I think that we find that Garden when we retreat and reflect. For the secret of the Garden is really that God walks with his creation. God walks with you and with me. I believe that Garden is within. When we become aware of that inner Presence, we realize we have God too. For what is the Garden of Eden but the place where God is close to us, and we no longer need to seek the Divine in externals?