Playing before the Creator

Proverbs 8:27-31 says When the Lord established the heavens I was there, when he marked out the vault over the face of the deep; when he made firm the skies above, when he fixed fast the foundations of the earth; when he set for the sea its limit, so that the waters should not transgress his command; then was I beside him as his craftsman, and I was his delight day by day, playing before him all the while, playing on the surface of his earth; and I found delight in the human race.

The writer here is speaking of wisdom, portraying her as a person who was always in the mind of God. But we too can identify with this image--the image of having been in the mind of God before the creation of the world. We were his delight, and such thoughts should fill us with profound peace and joy. For no matter how our lives twist and turn, the same God who held us in his mind's eye, who found his delight in imagining our creation, is with us still, with no less intensity of love and design.

God intends that we should "play before him" by trusting his providence, knowing our serious life needs the light hearted joy of confidence, so that we too may be as wisdom, beside him as his craftsman, assisting him in his creation and delighting him day and night.

Trinitarian Examples

The Holy Trinity. Both an example of relationships, and a model of contradiction. Both are examples for our spiritual life.

The Trinity offers us an image of the perfect relationship. Three distinct persons operate with one another in a way that is equal in both giving and receiving. Such a relationship is govern by what we would call mutual respect. At least, for us mortal beings, that is the one way we can emulate the Trinity. All relationships require such respect for the "other", and community living even more. For the health and vibrancy of a community is directly related to the respect each member gives to the others.

But another wonderful aspect of the Trinity is the apparent contradiction it represents. How can one be three and three be one? Such thoughts echo other similar thoughts. How can God say he loves us if he lets us suffer? How can bad things happen to good people? The list goes on.

The Trinity is a good reminder of the statement that our minds cannot grasp the Divine, and all our efforts to do so, while bringing joy, can also bring confusion. We must remember that the pursuit of knowledge of God leads us, but it is the personal relationship with him that fills and divinizes us.

The Necessity of Prayer

St. Theresa of Avila writes I can speak of what I have experience of. It is that in spite of any wrong they who practice prayer do, they must not abandon prayer since it is the means by which they can remedy the situation; and to remedy it without prayer would be much more difficult.

Prayer. It is like the blood that flows through one's veins. It is so necessary to the spiritual life that every religion has some form of it...and every spiritual person knows its importance. But what is prayer? A written paragraph someone else thinks up? The psalms of the Bible? The words in the services we attend? Partly yes.

But this is only a start to a prayer life. Prayer is so much more. Prayer is a lifting up of the mind and heart to God; it is your own personal lifting up of the mind and heart. It is a dialogue between you and the Divine. You initiate it, but God really carries it.

Here the psalms can teach us quite a bit. The prayer of the psalms cover a wide spectrum of emotions; thanking God for graces, begging God for help, pleading for God's mercy, even asking vengeance for one's enemies. But most of all, the psalms offer us the model of prayer...an open heart that tells God all. Not that God doesn't know. But by opening our heart to God, we actually learn more about ourselves.

Prayer is the bedrock for any spiritual life; there is no spiritual life without it. Prayer takes on many forms: Lectio Divina, meditation, repetition of formulated prayers, etc. What constitutes prayer is not the words used, but the engagement of the heart.

How do we know if our efforts toward prayer are authentic and fruitful? If it brings us to a deeper and more loving relationship with God.

Taste and See the Goodness of the Lord

St Peter writes in 2:2: Like newborn infants, long for pure spiritual milk so that through it you may grow into salvation, for you have tasted that the Lord is good.

Once we have tasted the goodness of the Lord, we will always long for that satisfaction of loving. It isn't that we don't long for it all along. It is more that we do not realize what will satisfy our longing until we hit upon the right love. Jesus is so gentle he waits patiently for us to discover him, giving us hints and little gifts as though from a "secret pal". And we dabble with various ways to find joy: possessions, money, attachments, etc. The list is endless. And the joys are not totally frivolous, as we are human and need human satisfaction.

But we also thirst for that which is unquenchable - Divine Love. To taste and see that the Lord is good, we need more than a weekly visit to the church for an obligation. We need more than to sit with scripture and ponder its meaning. We need to develop a personal relationship with Jesus, confiding in him as we would a dear friend. Only then, will we experience the peace that he can give.

Letting Go - Further Thoughts

So my last post on letting go became a topic of Lectio with fellow community members, and we got discussing how we do need some sort of human or spiritual satisfaction in order to give ourselves to the Lord. That desiring peace for our service to God is not a bad thing at all, it is the normal thing. The problem with some spirituality is its denial of legitimate human needs, and the over-spiritualizing of a faith-filled life.

So we must re-visit the letting go process, and analyze its meaning yet again. Perhaps a better line to follow is the treasure hidden in the field. That treasure can represent whatever God uses to attract our hearts: peace, fulfillment, spiritual satisfaction, etc. We sell all we have to possess this treasure. Jesus himself likens this search to the kingdom of heaven. And there we have it.

There are so many concepts within the Gospels for one to ponder. It is good to have a group discussion on the readings, as it offers a broader range of thinking. And Jesus did say, where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Letting Go

The week before Pentecost, we heard daily that "I must go away before the Spirit of Truth can come." Now, one step into Ordinary Time, and we hear, "How hard it is for those who have wealth to enter the Kingdom of God!" Mk 12:25.

Why does following Jesus have to contain so many letting goes? Isn't it enough for us to come with a good heart and willing spirit, to set ourselves with determination toward the good things, to give with a generous and sincere heart?

I would venture to suggest that the letting go is a formula for a going out of ourselves. It is human nature to do what we do because it gives us a certain satisfaction. Jesus would like us to follow him simply because it is good and the right thing to do. Joy follows. But it cannot be the reason for our choices. Jesus must be.

When Jesus is not the reason for our choices, we fall by the wayside when such choices cause distrubances, suffering, pain. When we choose to follow Jesus, and our choice is not rewarded in the sense of fulfillment, we must pull from somewhere deeper to continue. That deeper place can only be found after we empty ourselves from the human satisfactions we live by.

The Spirit of Truth

Funny how society judges your success by your lack of failures, problems, or difficulties. "That person is well-balanced" they'll say of someone who has known few if any difficulties.

And yet, Pentecost is all about receiving the Spirit of Truth. Our culture often echos those words spoken by Pilot, "What is truth?" When we are open to the Spirit of Truth, life ceases to be "normal" or even "balanced". We find ourselves faced with all sorts of challenges, and at crossroads which demands us to choose: truth or convenience.

Many spiritual writers compare life to two paths: the visible, tangible, and tactile road, often superficial, often empty, with success, money, fame as its goal; and the spiritual, often elusive, intuitive, less trod road, that isn't sure of itself, so is always seeking and therefore deeply reflective. Sometimes we try to combine the two, looking for a spirituality that is romantic, "good feeling", and esoteric. Often we too judge spiritual progress by its lack of difficulties, as if obstacles signaled insincerity or lack of dedication.

Yet, the Spirit of Truth isn't seeking that which is calm, but "troubled waters." Sometimes, an abundance of trials are sure signs of a soul's dedication, not vice versa.

In a day and age where appearances and visual images control, even within the Church, living from the Spirit of Truth poses quite a challenge. Still,  only by remaining true to yourself, will find the Light which enlightens all.

Grace of the Moment

All week before Pentecost, we've read Jesus words, "I go away....if I do not go, the Spirit of Truth will not come."

Often in our lives, we reach a point where to stand for the truth carries risks. We are at a point such as Jesus gives us here in the Gospel. Do we take the risk? How hard was it for the disciples to be alone, without Jesus? How hard is it for us sometimes to do the hard thing, simply because it is the right thing?

We will never know the joy of risking unless we step forward when challenged. For often, just a step beyond the hard task is a new depth of joy and grace.

Daily mysticism

Daily mysticism. How do we get it? Is it even possible?  Yes, says renown author Robert Wicks. He maintains that how we accept life's lessons directly affects our own ability to live life at that deeply spiritual level. For it is all to easy to let life become habitual and to live on autopilot. Jesus says he came not only to give us life, but to give it to us "in abundance."

Robert Wicks book Seeds of Sensitivity investigates his own ability to learn the mystical way of life, and he concludes it starts with unlearning and relearning. To demonstrate by example, he first describes his visit to Cambodia and the pain and suffering he witnessed in that country. His reflection on this experience is too profound to do anything but quote here:

          The little girl whose home was burned down also had a lesson to teach--the
          fresh continuance of hope. Would I accept this, learn from it, and be able
          to maintain perspective in my life as well? Would I continue to be
          sensitive to the people and lessons that each day held for me, or
          would I try to run away, psychologically and spiritually, in search
          of security and comfort and then call it peace? [36]

It is all too easy to run from experiences that makes us uncomfortable in search of a more comfortable and secure place. Yet, Wick challenges us to be open to our experience, because such experience holds a wealth of opportunities to change ourselves. And it is precisely such changes that open the door to new opportunities to life, the mystical experiences. Again:

          We no longer need be on a seesaw of comfortable complacency balanced
          by occasional, abrupt, rash acts of desperation because we fear that life is
          slipping through our hands. With this new interest in unlearning, relearning,
          and responding to life in a new way, it may become really possible to grasp
          something that may have been elusive or incomprehensible to us up to this
          point. When sensitivity is pure and real it can actually open us up to life
          in a way that daily mysticism can become a natural way of living rather
          than merely a subject of occasional fantasy. [37]

         

Cloud of Unknowing

The entrance antiphon for Thursday of the 7th Week of Easter reads Let us come to God's presence with confidence, because we will find mercy and strength when we need it.

So, what exactly does it mean to come to God's presence?  The Cloud of Unknowing, a classic read if ever there was one, and one every serious Christian should know, says Paradoxical as it may seem, it would not even occur to a person...to desire contemplative love were it not already alive within...

We've come upon this concept repeatedly, that God is within; that our task is to discover him there; to become aware of his presence; to become more conscious of him dwelling within our heart. All of these concepts imply work. God is there...what can we do to become more aware of him?

Again, The Cloud of Unknowing says: let that mysterious grace [contemplation] move in your spirit as it will and follow wherever it leads you...feel this mysterious grace sweetly awaken in the depths of your spirit...

Grace does what it wills. But we must never forget our involvement. We cannot be led if we are not watching and observing God within. We cannot feel if we are unaware. We cannot be moved if our mind and heart are busy elsewhere.

Reality of Hope

This week's Gospel has been about Jesus "going away" so that the Spirit of Truth may come. In a way, it is about the pain of loss and the need for hope.

There are many times in our lives when we experience the pain of "going away", the pain of loss, and we need something to pull us through that pain.

Robert Wicks writes in Seeds of Sensitivity I knew at the core of my being that real life, the sensitive life, must contain by its very nature both the anguish of painful realities and the hope of what still can come to fruition...I knew at a deeper level that one couldn't escape the dire realities we all must face if we wish to be alive rather than die slowly, hidden under a psychological shroud of denial and avoidance...I learned another lesson of possibly equal importance: when one is suffering one must also remember the important reality of hope... [35]

Wicks goes on to give his own definition of Hope - not an absence of trials - but an attitude of living which makes one seek and find new possibilities because of an attitude of trust. Wicks quotes Vaclav, the former poet-leader of the Czech Republic:

                   Hope is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It is not the conviction
                    that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense,
                    regardless of how it turns out.

Hope is active, action, attitude. The disciples, waiting in the Upper Room for the fulfillment of Jesus words, did not practice much hope. They waited for something to happen. Once the Spirit came, they sprung into life, and did something...they lived that hope by their lives, going about preaching the good news.

Living Contemplation

Caryll Houselander, a modern British mystic, wrote Never has my own heart so proved to me that the direct "contemplation" of Christ in men and women, in the world--done not only through our minds, but through our bodies also--is the way to him, the way to heaven on earth: and now I see how, without more than a necessary amount of egoism, we can contemplate him in our own life and come closer to him through it. This last means a more intense living and perhaps a more intense dying.

Houselander is telling us that--contemplation is not meant for only the monastics living within the secure and structured atmosphere of the monastery...it is meant for every serious christian. Contemplation needs silence, yes. But even more--it needs our heart and soul, our attention, our willingness to find him within our own hearts. Contemplation needs our own bodies. We cannot live up in the unseen world while we drag our bodies along. We must live in our bodies with joy and expectation. For what is to come can be here and now; that is, we can become so conscious of the life of God within us that we are living in his presence habitually. This is the goal of all monastics. But is should be the goal of all Christians. When we live in the presence of God, conscious of his life within, our own lives take on a different light.

Now we understand!

In John 16:29, we read The disciples said to Jesus, Now you are talking plainly, and not in any figure of speech. Now we realize that you know everything and that you do not need to have anyone question you. Because of this we believe that you came from God.

Only a few hours later, they all scattered, and left Jesus by himself to be captured and killed. Some understanding!

There are times in our lives when we think we finally have it all together. We've learned how to discern the spirit, we are confident of God's presence with us to strengthen us along the way. And we go forward with a great deal of hope and courage. Then, something goes terribly wrong, and we feel disillusioned.

We won't suffer a crisis of faith if we realize life is somewhat like climbing a mountain. You see the same view as you ascend. But you see more of that view as you go higher. Only when you quit climbing, does your view go stagnant.

Crisis comes whether we believe strongly or not. And initial reactions are not the proof of our faith...it's how we handle it in the long run.

The disciples all ran. Peter denied. Yet, in the long run, they all gave up their lives for their faith in Jesus. In the end, they did understand.

Believing isn't insurance against tragedy. It's the foundation for recovery.

Promptings of the Spirit

Simon Tugwell writes that God prompts us to pray for the graces and gifts he wishes to give us. St. Catherine of Siena says similar thoughts, When God wishes to bestow some blessing on humankind, he stirs his servants to prayer for it. Julian of Norwich writes that I am the ground of thy beseeching.

All are good reasons for silence and reflection. Just as you cannot hear a person if you are busy talking, so too you cannot discern God's inspirations if your prayer is always full of words. Sitting silent before God is a wonderful way to begin to discern. Be still and know that I am God  Psalm 46:10 says. It is the only way we really get to know God.

Further thoughts on the Sprit

A further thought on Jesus words of going away, and our need to rejoice in that fact. When Jesus left the disciples, they had known and enjoyed his physical presence, even after his resurrection, though that presence was glorified. Still, when they wanted Jesus, he was there in flesh and blood. But that flesh and blood presence was outside of themselves. By going away, Jesus gave the disciples an opportunity to find him in a different place...in their own hearts.

Jesus speaks of the spirit coming, who will teach them all that he has heard. The spirit doesn't bring something new; he opens what we already know and believe in, so that we understand it better, or in a new light.

Jesus dwelling within us. That is the joy of the Christian life. One can never be alone with that knowledge, nurtured and developed so that Jesus becomes a confidant, a friend, the beloved.

Jesus and the Spirit

I go away, Jesus says all this week, and you are sad. When we love someone, we do not want to be separated from that person…not for long periods. There is a joy and comfort we enjoy being in his or her presence. But Jesus asks us to rejoice that he is going away. Why?


Maybe because we tend to be more spiritual when we are struggling, when we don’t have what we want. It is a fact that the early Christians were much more fervent when they underwent persecution than they were after Christianity became an acceptable and even fashionable religion.

When we struggle, we tend to think more of God, to yearn more for the fullness of our faith, to believe a bit more ardently. Perhaps our belief in being “whole” here and now is a fallacy. Perhaps our awareness of our need for healing, of our woundedness, would keep us always turned toward God. Perhaps desiring fullness of faith here and now keeps us from the search that brings us ever closer to the Divine Presence.

All the way to heaven is heaven, says St. Catherine of Siena. That way is heaven only when it is filled with the desire for the Divine. Jesus goes away, but he sends his Spirit to teach us all things. Have we found that spirit within our heart?

Maurice Zundel says, We must necessarily go through God to become aware of the greatness of the life each one bears not only in his mind but in his heart. Each one of us bears the life and presence of Jesus Christ…Of that we want to remember one thing alone: there is a Face, a Face within ourselves, engraved in our heart and which is our treasure. It is on this Face that our life must converge.

Learning to Listen

Today's Gospel reading is very broad. If you love me, keep my commandments Jesus says.

In a recent community Lectio, we were had pressed to come up with any solid thoughts on the matter. We concluded there are some passages you must just sit with, and let them gradually reveal themselves to you.

In our day, sitting quietly is a hard task. Recently in a lecture, the group was encouraged to learn to "be still and listen".  During the Q&A, they admitted they found this almost impossible. Many sited other thoughts that come to distract them, and blamed the devil for interfering with their attempts at quiet prayer.

But this attitude misses the whole point of prayer. Nothing can truly be a distraction if you are talking to the Lord. What comes to mind needs only to be turned to him, and it becomes itself a part of your prayer.

It highlights an attitude toward prayer that is prevalent among good Christians...that prayer is something so different from our daily lives, so foreign to a regular conversation, that it takes almost superhuman effort, or is impossible.

But that is not true! Prayer is simple taking your regular mode of conversation to the Lord, and speaking to him as a friend. Such conversations, instead of wearying us, makes us complete. As just as in every conversation, we need both time to speak and time to listen, so with our prayer to the Lord. We need that time to just listen for his inspirations.

Take this gospel, and sit with it like you would a friend. Ask Jesus what does it all mean, this commandment and the big picture. How can you bring it into your own life? I'd love to hear some of your responses.

Peace of Soul

Easter Season brings with it an abundance of promises of peace. My peace I leave you, Jesus says to his disciples. Peace be with you he says to the women at the tomb. We all yearn for that peace of soul that is promised to us. So, can it possibly be a bad thing to cling to it once we get it?

Yes.

Love for our peace can be like cement shoes...it can keep us tied to what is comfortable so that we cannot or will not accept change when it is necessary. We can love our peace so much, that we would rather "die" in a sense than chance losing it.

Think of the apostles locked in the upper room. The gospel did not spread until they ventured forth, an act that caused persecution, threats, and martyrdom.

Think of Mary Madgalen. She sees Jesus after the Resurrection and is overjoyed. Jesus response is, do not cling to me.

We love our peace. But sometimes we must go forward into turmoil and uncertainty. Even then, it is possible to find an even deeper peace. Because such an act deepens us, and in that depth, we find greater stability for peace.

Simplicity of Heart

In John 14:6 we read Jesus words: I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, then you will also know my Father.

Philip, all afire, declares, Show us the Father and that will be enough for us.

And Jesus replies, Have I been with you for so long a time and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.

This discourse is a good checklist for our spiritual life. We seek God. We go to great lengths to purify our heart, our soul and our mind. And yet, God is there all the time. While we are looking for something esoteric, God is simply sitting inside our heart, waiting for us to recognize him.

Evelyn Underhill writes in Practical Mysticism that mystical consciousness has the power of lifting those who possess it to a plane of reality...

Jesus told Martha that she was worried and upset about many things, but only one things is necessary. Such simplicity.

How can we find that one thing necessary? By becoming so conscious of God that our reality is vibrant and true.

Discernment

With Pentecost fast approaching, it is good to think about the grace and gift of discernment. Probably no gift is so misunderstood than this one.

For starters, discernment does not involve an "intelligent decision" or a "commonsense approach". That falls under prudence and counsel. Discernment is the inner workings of the spirit within one's own heart. An advisor or spiritual director can assist one in this task, but they cannnot discern for the individual. Only the individual can discern for herself.

How does one learn discernment? Mostly, through trial and error. Discernment requires an ear attentive to the whisperings and nudges of the Holy Spirit. Waiting to "get it right" results in never learning at all. Discernment is part of a relationship, getting to know God better, to learn better the difference between his inspirations and our own wonderings.

If you depend on another to lead you on your journey, then you are by that very fact, quite lost. Discernment teaches us the importance of silence, to hear God; awareness of the presence of God, so that we "see" him; humility, to accept when we've mistaken that inspiration; and perserverance, so that we never give up on the process. Learning discernment is like becoming an athelete--it requires time, practice, patience and application. Just as you can never become a good ball player if you never play the game, so too you can never learn discernment until you begin to act. Unlike sports, discernment requires a great deal of courage and confidence; courage to go forward, confidence that God will lead, dispite our flawed attempts.

Do not give your spirit away to another. God has a plan for you, and you alone. No one can discern this plan for you, for no one can enter into your heart and find God for you. You must do that on your own. Once you practice, and become good at it, discernment will lead you into secrets only you and God will share. And when that happens, you will know the truth of St. Catherine's words: All the way to heaven is heaven.